...M - O - U - S - E

Earlier this year I did a Medicine Card spread for myself to find out what I needed to know at that point.  I even went to the trouble of laying the cards out on a piece of leather, clicking a photo of it, and uploading it here as a draft, intending to come back later and write about it.  Stuff happens and time passes.  Then out of curiosity I look into this draft of a post to find just this photo (well, and I had written "LA LA LA" over it... ) and, considering all the time that's passed since I had originally intended to write about this reading, I was about to delete it, when I looked at it again. Holy crap! This particular reading has as much, if not more, meaning to me now as it did the month or two ago that I'd done it.

So this is how I read it --

In the East, the realm of air and mind, reversed, is Elk.  Elk medicine is about power and stamina, Elk's main defense being running and out distancing any predators, so in reverse this shows a lack of those qualities, and perhaps the need not to run.

Balancing this in the West, the realm of water and emotion is Coyote, the trickster.  His medicine is about the need to lighten up, usually manifesting itself in the 'Wile E' style of tripping oneself up or getting caught in one's own snares.  Probably indicates some turbulence and confusion, though in the upright position shows purpose in the chaos.   

I see these two working together -- I've got a lot of career plans for the near future and have been in a hurry to get going on them, to the point of feeling behind schedule, but this combination was showing me to slow down.  I recently tried to go off of zoloft, which I've been on for about seven years, and, with the help of my Naturopath, try some more natural alternatives.  I ended up back on zoloft and the past couple months have been a bit turbulent emotionally -- all my energy going to balancing my emotional self -- so I have not had the mental focus to stride ahead with my empire building intentions.

 

Then in the South, the place of fire, passion, and action flies Hummingbird.  "Follow your bliss," she hums in my ear.  "Do what brings you joy!" This comes as I question everything, including what it is I truly want to do with my life.  Recently things have started taking on the feeling of duty, like some outside higher authority is dictating that I must do and become certain things, and some of that was bleeding into my career aspirations.  And I had a realization somewhere in the past couple months that all I've ever wanted to do is draw comics.  That is my joy.  That is my bliss.  And I am passionate about shamanism.  I just need to follow my heart and not worry about living up to outside standards of what any of that should look like.  My heart is my authority.  

And balancing this in the North is Porcupine. This is where it gets really interesting.  Porcupine is basically the inner child, full of innocence and playfulness. It speaks of a return to the simplicity of a child, and seeing the world with eyes of wonder and adventure.  Now, I had no plans for this at the time of the reading, but a couple of weeks ago I received a soul retrieval, and I was reunited with my four year old self.  The shamanic practitioner who did this for me saw my four year old running through the woods, with a total sense of freedom, as well as knowing my oneness with everything around me -- the essence of Porcupine!

Finally, in the Center, the hub of the wheel that connects all the other directions, sits Mouse.  Mouse is about paying attention to whats in front of you, the here-and-now, and your own little world.  It is staying centered and cleaning your own house, so there's no room for empires here.  Lay low and let the bigger picture take care of itself. I have things to do, at a fundamental level of my personal world, before I can move forward with any plans of world domination (insert "Pinky and the Brain" theme song here). 

So it is interesting that, having forgotten about this reading, I have lived it, being rather sequestered for a number of months in my own little world, seeking out my joy, as well as a balance of my mental and emotional realms.  And as the haze begins to clear from my mind, a hint of happiness and freedom bubbles to the surface and I remember I don't have to save the world.  As Sandra Ingerman says -- "It's not what you do but who you become that changes the world."  

And now, more complete with my child-like heart at the wheel, I set out to focus on taking care of myself -- who I am becoming and what I am called to do, not what I'm suppose to do, once more at the center of my own life, learning not to sweat the small stuff and let the big stuff take care of itself.