My One and Yoni

A few weeks ago I was just hanging out at 4 Sisters, the store where I do readings every other Saturday, when from halfway across the room, an egg-shaped stone caught my attention and would not let it go. I walked over and picked it up, looking into the depths of what looked like a view of space from the Hubble telescope complete with nebulas and star systems. I was enthralled because this has been my Year of Deepening; A year of rebirth and new beginnings, of expanding beyond my limitations into the unknown, to boldly go where no one has gone before. And here I was literally holding the Cosmic Egg -- the birth of the Universe was lying in the palm of my hand. 

This representation and meaning alone was enough for me to know beyond a doubt that I had to take it home, but I was also curious about what kind of stone it was.

"I won't tell you what it is until you pay for it," the owner said slyly. 

"Okay," I shrugged, handing over the money.

"It's a 'Yoni Egg.'" She said with a smirk.

Now, I know what a 'Yoni' is, but was unaware of what a 'Yoni Egg' was, so she explained that it was for women to insert into their yoni and to hold and carry it there as a way to strengthen the muscles in that area.

“You know I would have bought it anyway.”

“I know. I was teasing. You’re probably the only guy I know who would knowingly buy a yoni egg.” 

What made this extra significant to me is that I am recently and newly single, and one of the things I found myself saying was, “The only relationship for me to focus on right now is the one between me and the Universe; Me and Goddess." So here I was, not only holding the Universe in my hand, but the Yoni of the Cosmic Mother. I am a Son and Consort of the Goddess, and here She was showing up in a manner that acknowledged and validated my journey, as well as allowed me to literally embrace the Divine Feminine. There is nothing about this that is not sublime and divinely perfect.

In The Bag

I recently left a relationship and, while I'm still a little raw from the miasma of contradictory emotions accompanying that decision and not ready to delve into that part in public, an amazing synchronicity occurred around it that deserves to be told, and can be told without breaching the complexities underlying the break up itself.

I was talking to one friend recently, and as the conversation moved onto other subjects besides my former relationship, she asked if I'd ever seen this certain Spirit Animal card deck. She had seen it at Half Price Books and had thought of getting it for me. Not only had I heard of it, it was an amazing and beautiful deck I had coveted it for quite some time, actually having earlier in the month asked a friend who sells them at her coffee shop to hold a deck for me next time they come in. "Oh, I wished I'd gone ahead and bought it for you then! And I have the perfect case to put them in. It's a beautiful, hand-embroidered tarot bag that even has a unicorn on it. It so has your name on it!" A thought flickered across my mind which I quickly dismissed. It couldn't be. There's no possible way...

A little later that evening I got a message from her saying she was at Half Price, she was buying me the deck, and there was nothing I could do about it, so there! ...I love my friends!

Then a little later after that she messaged me again, this time with photos of the deck along with the tarot bag she had mentioned. ...Holy crap! There was no possible way, but there it was. I replied my undying gratitude saying that she had just given me a bigger gift than she could ever have imagined, but that I wanted to tell her about it in person.

Fortunately it didn't take long because I was teaching a class the very next night, so she met me at the store before class and handed off her gifts to me. It was surreal seeing and holding the tarot bag again.

"Do you know the woman who made this?" I asked.
She answered with a woman's name I didn't recognize and I hesitated.
"Do you know ____?" I asked.
"Oh, yes I do!"
"She's the one who made the bag."
"Oh! You know, I think you're right. I was thinking it was the other woman but come to think of it, it was her."
"I know. And you know why I know? She was my first girlfriend after my divorce and she made this specifically for me."
"This same exact bag?!"
"This same exact bag. That's why there's a unicorn on it. She made it specifically for me. I gave it back after we broke up because it was a piece of art and I felt weird about keeping it."
"Well I guess it belonged with you after all! Wow! She gave that to me over a decade ago and I couldn't figure out why she'd give me such a beautiful piece of artwork."
I shrugged with a half smile, "Now you know why."

When I had first seen the photo of the bag the day before, my head was spinning by the inconceivable synchronicities involved. At first I was embarrassed, being self conscious from having been teased about the number of relationships I’d had since divorcing my former girlfriend/wife of 18 years about 11 years ago. Was the Universe throwing it in my face to tell me to grow up and hunker down, that here was yet another relationship that didn’t work out, so obviously there was something wrong with me?

Then another thought flashed through my mind: “Full circle.” The ending of the latest relationship and the sudden resurfacing of this relic from my first relationship went beyond coincidence. Things were coming full circle, like a completion of a lesson over a decade long in the learning. To validate this thought, I looked up and in the license number of the car ahead of me was “777.” This is an ‘angel number’ which basically indicates that the angels are watching over you and giving a huge thumbs up. So it seemed I had graduated from something and the Universe was giving me physical, tangible proof of completion.

Still, the mind boggles...

Inconceivable...

Grand Ole Osprey

I’ve been doing a weekly post on my Facebook page for years now that I call Totem Tuesday. Each week I put up an original drawing of my own of an animal along with an explanation of that animal’s ‘medicine’, which is the powerful gift or lesson that animal brings to our lives to help us grow. 

Normally it can seem rather random as I try to come up with animals I haven’t featured yet and balance the appearances of various classes - mammals, birds, fish, reptiles, insects, etc - so as to represent a wider range of animals and expand people’s understanding about how EVERY species has a place and a purpose to which we are all connected. We are all related. Mitakuye Oyasin - The Native American phrase which means “All My Relations.” 

This year, however, I have noticed a lot less randomness as almost every animal has volunteered to come forward by repeated appearances in my own life, and their particular medicine has been precisely what I needed or what I was experiencing at the time, and usually they have not been animal guides I’ve experienced working with before - Tasmanian Devil, Narwhal, Slow Loris, and Whale Shark to name a few. But the one that has gotten a lot of my attention and has been working steadily with me is Osprey. 

This is the original post from my Facebook page:

*TOTEM TUESDAY*

OSPREY is a hawk that is HIGHLY SPECIALIZED to fish. She has long, sharp fishhook talons, textured feet for a better grip on slippery scales, and closable nostrils to name a few adaptions. Her message here is that you came into life with SPECIAL STRENGTHS AND CAPABILITIES to carry out your unique life purpose. These talents and abilities are natural and an integral part of you, and are custom-made to lead you toward that which nourishes and feeds you most. But to use these things, like Osprey, you may need to REACH OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONES. Venturing into territory that other birds of prey, including Fish Eagles, won't, Osprey is the only raptor that dives into the water. She TAKES THE RISK of doing so so that she can KEEP HER EYE ON HER PREY even as she enters the water. With Osprey as your ally, there is nothing you can not achieve once you have locked on to it. FOCUS and CONCENTRATION are a couple of her greatest gifts, as well as an ACTIVE SEEKING OF ONE'S PASSION, and a FEARLESSNESS to enter unknown territory to do so. Osprey does not wait for things to fall in her lap. She makes things happen. 

Osprey's nest is a large mass of grasses and sticks built with a clear view of the fishing grounds. Not only does this make her a SENTINEL, aware of everything around her from her clear vantage point, but Osprey has also become a BEACON and a GUIDE for fishing boats who use her nests as navigational landmarks.

Also there is an aspect of INTEGRITY with Osprey. Whereas the noble Eagle sometimes scavenges and steals Osprey's catches, Osprey is SELF-SUFFICIENT, relying on her own skills and abilities to care for herself. It is her own CONFIDENCE and ADEPTNESS that allows her to decide her own fate, and with a sense of POWER and MAJESTY that is self-evident without the need to boast.

So find that one thing that feeds your soul, and dive into it wholeheartedly no matter where it takes you. From your vantage point the future is yours. Set your vision and go for it. Let Osprey guide you and nothing can get in your way! 

Osprey’s medicine really resonated with me, especially with having decided that this is my year of deepening my path. After I posted this I realized that what Osprey medicine is really about is Dedication. Everything is dedicated to one purpose, customized to contribute to her goals with nothing extraneous. Dedication is focusing on one thing and releasing everything else. In a way it's like using the Law of Attraction -- You continuously affirm and focus on what you want, not giving time and energy to what you don't because 'Where consciousness goes, energy flows." Everything serves her singular purpose.

This brought to mind an experience from Sandra Ingerman's Teacher Training. We were to journey to one of our helping spirits and ask what it was that we needed to release in order to move forward on our healing/teaching path. As I slid into the spirit realms on the hoof beats of the wind-horse drum, Mike, my dragon guide loomed above me. Before I could even fully ask the question, Mike let loose with a barrage of fire, and I saw the word 'OBLIGATIONS' before me engulfed in flame and burning to ash.

I have a tendency to spread myself thin with obligations, whether with other people or organizations, which of itself is not a bad thing except when doing so saps and drains the energy from one's own medicine and purpose, especially when they are done out of guilt or outside expectations and duties. I have a specific purpose and path I came her to fulfill and, no matter how much good I may have been doing through other groups,etc, it is nothing compared to what I can do if I consolidate my energy and direct it to that singular purpose and destiny.

I also realized as I began to concentrate on deepening my path this year, that besides committing to exterior groups and people, I've also always looked for some exterior spiritual way, ideal, or deity to dedicate my life to in order to give my life meaning and purpose. The big news is that my life already has purpose; That I am already part and parcel of Source Energy, so dedication to anyone or anything else is still, however subtly, a dispersion of essential energy without which critical mass of purpose fulfillment can never be reached. There is no higher obligation or dedication than that too my own inner calling and guidance.

And so I began withdrawing my energy from various groups, and at the same time I became consciously mindful of where and to whom I promised my time and energy. If I am to do what I came here to do in this lifetime, I have to let go of those things that don't serve that purpose. I need to pay attention to the inner ebb and flow of my energy and feelings, letting that be my compass and final counsel on whether I act rather than the guilt and 'shoulds' of outer expectations. Enter Osprey as my perfect model and teacher of dedication - Dedication to myself and my path.

In an ironic twist, after thinking I had 'gotten' Osprey's medicine and how it worked toward deepening my path, I discovered I was still just skimming the surface of the meaning. While journeying for a student recently, Hortance, my shape shifting Owl/Toltec guide who helps me with teaching, mentioned, almost casually, my working with Osprey medicine, saying, "What you haven't grasped yet is that Osprey's dedication is not to the Fish. It is to the fishing."

In other words, it really is about the Journey and not the Destination. It is the continuous process of writing, drawing, and exploring, that brings joy to my heart and the feeling of better alignment with my True Self that is the point.  It is the doing and the creating of my various, seemingly countless,  projects that is the important part, not in the finishing. Of course, if I never finished anything my creativity would starve and my soul would wither, like the Osprey with out the fish. The fish is important for my continued survival and nourishment, but it is just the external indicator of how clear and aligned I am.

In other words, as my favorite Zen teacher, Alan Watts says, "When we make music we don't do it in order to reach a certain point, such as the end of the composition. If that were the purpose of music then obviously the fastest players would be the best. Also, when we are dancing we are not aiming to arrive at a particular place on the floor as in a journey. When we dance, the journey itself is the point, as when we play music the playing itself is the point."   

"...the journey itself is the point..."

My life is my music and my path is my dance.

To B (and B), or Not To B (and B)

The past week or two have been especially emotionally hectic for me.  I mentioned in an earlier post the shift I felt at New Years, and ever since then the energy has been building to the point that, at any given moment, I could easily break into laughter or into tears.  I have been needing and craving more solitude and alone-time then usual, which is saying a lot for this introvert, seeming to have less tolerance for outside stimulation and requiring more time and focus dedicated to the expression of inner stimulation. The obligations and distractions of everyday life have increasingly frustrated me as I feel stifled to find my authentic self amongst the sirens of the world. Then a couple separate factors this past week and a half or so sent me spiraling back into old inadequacies and doubts, and for the sake of sanity I knew I needed to do something.  Fortunately for me it just so happened that I had no prior commitments this past weekend, and the woods were howling for my presence. So Saturday morning I loaded up my car and I drove.

I had no idea where I was going. Originally my idea was to rent a yurt for the weekend and retreat there to write, draw, meditate, journey surrounded by the loving arms of the wilderness. Try as I might, though, the few places I tried to reserve either had no availability or never contacted me back. "Fine! The Universe is calling me and will not abandon me. I will trust its guidance." I had my tent along, and, worse case scenario, I could sleep in my car, but still my mind wanted a solid destination. Fine. I picked a magickal place I'd been to just once before, and just passing through at that. I set my GPS only to find out I had already passed the exit for it and would have to turn around. Okay. So I got off the freeway and found myself in the same parking lot of a restaurant a friend and I had stopped at on the way North to stay in a Yurt a few years ago. Huh. "Okay, I'll continue North then."

I once more merged onto the freeway heading North. "Hey Siri! What is the closest State Park?" There was a State Park only a half hour up the freeway. Awesome! I had my destination.

Roughly thirty minute later... "That's not a State Park! That's a lighthouse!" Here I was overlooking a beach on Puget Sound with nary a tree within reach. Dammit. The ferry dock was right there and for a moment I wondered if I should board the ferry and spend the day and night on one of the Islands. "No," I thought. When Siri mentioned this particular State Park, it resonated with me. I'd noticed the light house park on the map as well, but the indicated State Park seemed to be separate and just down the way, in the direction of wooded areas. "Okay, so I'll have to find it myself." And I headed south on wending back roads, determined to find my destined wooded weekend retreat.

Soon I found myself nearing the end of a dead end street. Sigh. I hadn't wanted to spend my day driving hither and yon, but it looked like I would have to continue my meandering. But as I pulled up to the end of the road to turn around, I saw the sign. At a right angle to the end of the road began a driveway... a driveway to a small B&B. I shrugged. What the heck?...

..."Hi! I'm sitting at the end of your driveway and I was just wondering if you might happen to have a room available for tonight?" It turns out the woman who runs the Bed & Breakfast was in Ellensberg, practically half a state away. "But," she added, "If you don't mind not having breakfast or letting yourself in, the door is unlocked and the first room on the left is all made up and ready for you."

I pulled in, feeling like this was just unreal. I parked my car like I was in some sort of dream. Really? Does this kind of thing really happen in real life? I got out, walked to the front of my car and looked at the woods sprawling before me. I believe I swooned, and I began to cry. "Thank you Goddess! Thank you thank you thank you! This is perfect!"

I carried my things into the house, which apparently had been a convent -- a note mentioning that if you heard voices and piano music late at night, it was just the nuns who like to return now and then -- and wandered about the spacious home still dragging my jaw along the floor with me. My room claimed, and the registration book in the hall filled out, I walked outside to explore the grounds. I was greeted by rabbits, squirrels, and all kinds of birds. There was a hot tub, a gazebo, and... Horseshoe pits!! I played a quick couple rounds, glad to be alone so that no one saw my pitiful throws, or witnessed me having to crawl into the bushes to retrieve one of the shoes that had gone awry. Next I walked over to the little overlook in the corner, and as I watched a ferry sliding across the Sound near the lighthouse park I'd been at earlier, I whispered to myself, "How can I possibly worry about things working out... Ever?"

With another deep sigh, and a silent string of thank yous, I turned and headed toward the woods that had been beckoning me for so long. I walked down the treacherous little path as far as I could go before it became too treacherous to continue, and I planted myself on a little boardwalk there. And there I sat for over an hour, bathing in the forest. I had tucked a pack of tobacco into my pocket at the car, and here I retrieved it, raising a couple pinches to the various directions, thanking Earth, Air, Fire, and Water, the Spirits of the Upper World, and the Spirits of the Lower World, the Compassionate Spirits of the Middle World - the Spirits of the Land, the Ancestors of the Land, and the Fae of this place - for guiding me here and allowing me to be in this sacred spot. Then touching the pinches to my heart and my lips, I released the tobacco to the wind and watched it scatter and shimmer to the ground.

I watched and listened to a train going by on the tracks on the beach below, I zipped delightedly to and fro among the flowers on the hill with a hummingbird, and I sang and soared overhead with a bald eagle, then danced with him in the sky when he returned with his partner. Did I mention the word 'perfect?'

At one point I felt a familiar itch of "shouldn't I be doing something productive?" Then I heard the following exchange in my head...

      My mind: "Hey! We need to go do something! We've been unsupervised for too long and I don't know what we're supposed to be doing!"

      My heart: "Get used to it."

...I literally laughed out loud.

I did eventually head back to my room and was so relaxed I napped for almost two hours. Upon awakening I went out and successfully returned with the evening's repast, then gathered all my writing and drawing materials to get down to business. That's why I was here, right? To organize and figure out my life? No. That was my mind's idea of why I was there. As it turns out, I was there to just be. To soak in the silence and to soak, in the silence. Writing would keep me in that perpetual left-brained analytical mode, and ironically take me away from the serenity of my immediate environment. Besides, that was precisely what I desperately needed a break from. So I just reclined there, in the common area, on the couch, nary a thought in my head. It was sooooooo peaceful. Something called me to the window, and there I sat for hours just watching the water of the Sound as the sun descended further and further, finally disappearing behind the islands across the way. 

Again I had to just marvel. Really? Earlier today I had no idea where I would be, just that I needed time and space completely alone. Now here I was -- An entire Bed & Breakfast to myself, without even the innkeeper around. The Silence was incredible and so very healing. More than once I was almost startled by something I heard, only to discover each time it was the sound of the beating of my own heart. 

Once the sun dropped below the horizon I decided to call it a night. I was exhausted, but in the refreshing, peaceful way of one who had been carrying a burden for far too long and had finally found the strength to lay it down. I fell asleep still in a state of wonder. I could not have imagined a more perfect day.

Thank you Goddess. 

Alicorn Moon

I’ve been to a lot of full moon rituals, so the one I attended the other night did not, or so I thought, hold any surprises for me. Surprise!!

Like many rituals, this one included a guided meditation, and through this guidance I found myself standing a top a cliff, overlooking the sea, standing in an open-air, pagoda-like Temple of the Moon. In the center of this small structure was a low altar holding a large basin of water, above which, suspended from the ceiling, hung the big, silver, metallic smile of a crescent moon.

Suddenly SHE was there. The Moon Goddess. Artemis. Putting one foot up on the altar she held her quiver strap with one hand and, with the other still grasping her bow, leaned forward on her knee toward me. With an impish smirk on her face she says, “Took you long enough.”

,

There was more exchanges between us, none of which I remember. Eventually our meditation guide told us to look into the bowl of water to receive a word that we needed right now to move forward on our path. Even before gazing into the water, words started floating through my mind - Grace... Purity... Regality... - Then as I looked into the water, Artemis reached out a single finger and touched the surface. As the rings from this contact started to spread out across the basin, she slowly withdrew her finger. As it lifted so too did a golden, shining, spiral alicorn, her finger on the point as if magnetically drawing the unicorn horn from the water. Once the alicorn rose a good two feet out of the water it stopped and she pulled her hand away.

I knew I was supposed to pay attention to the words coming up for me, specifically one word that would be my focus for moving forward in my life, empowered and whole, but the unicorn horn protruding from the water spoke volumes that words could only hint at. As I watched the alicorn I felt myself sinking out of my head and into my heart. This is my essence and the purest part of me. I joke about being a unicorn, but at my deepest levels nothing else better describes me. It truly is who I am. And here in the Full Virgo Moon, my actual moon sign, I was being shown my most virginal aspect by the Virgin Goddess herself. And by “virginal” here I mean untouchable, unassailable, sovereign, pure, wild, innocent.

Along with these pure and virginal parts, there is another aspect to my Unicorness that was emphasized - Regality. There is a natural regality and majesty to someone who walks in alignment with who they really are. Even my name ‘Patrick’ means ‘Noble Man’. The unicorn is the most noble of beasts because he is the purest, and therein lies his strength and power. This is not pride, at least not the ego variety of being ‘better than’ others. This is empowerment. This is becoming who I was born to be, wholly and unapologetically. And that itself is scary as hell. What that means is, no more hiding, no more excuses, pretenses, or self-deceptions, and, what seems to be a major theme of this year, No more playing small!

It has been a challenging time for me recently, but here was my answer to those challenges. Rather than staying in my head and trying to figure out how to fix things, it’s more important to drop into my heart and surrender to my True Nature. It’s not about doing but about being. And as a result of my moving from my essence and my authenticity, life will take care of itself. The only real challenge, rather than facing an outside force, is becoming the one I already am, moving from the inside out, and remaining true to who I am. As simple as that sounds, after a lifetime of being led to believe in one’s intrinsic inadequacy - even still with years of work and self examination - this seems like a daunting task. But it is also the choiceless choice. This is the work I can not not do - becoming the one I can not not be.

“It’s not what you do but who you become that changes the world.”

~Sandra Ingerman 

The Year of Deepening

One of the advantages of being Pagan is a grace period for New Year’s resolutions. I always look forward to the new year for the chance for new beginnings, starting fresh, and making changes in the way I think or do things. Not that you can’t do any of that at any time. Every moment is technically a new beginning with infinite choices for what your next step will be. But there’s something about the turning of larger cycles that lends itself to our own mental and emotional cycles, to have specific points at specific times that support specific intentions.

And so on the Gregorian calendar, the one we use with all the months of the year, January comes around and makes me feel excited to drop old, unproductive patterns and to refocus on what’s important on my path; To regain my bearings to navigate my life. Then for about a month I have the opportunity to try things out, change my mind, tweak intentions, and solidify my focus for the year because with the arrival of February, on the Pagan Wheel of the Year, comes the Celtic celebration of Imbolc, when it is the traditional time to make dedications and set intentions for the year. To me this is when my intentions really take root, especially because these dedications are declared in a ritual that takes place in sacred space, which aligns and deepens the commitment.

For several years now I haven't done much at this time of year. There’s usually the token "Woo-hoo! Things are going to be different now!” But that sense has not been long-lived, and survival in my outer world -- rife with 'world-crumbling' challenges of home, work, transportation, relationship -- has overridden any initial burst of energy toward my intentions for deeper, spiritual growth and change. It has been a really rough few years. And as I listed the areas of said challenges, it just dawned on me that they are all survival challenges, death/rebirth challenges, root chakra challenges. I could not have honestly said this before now, but coming through those challenges has deepened my rootedness. So again, as devastating as things may have seemed at the time, and as many moments as I may have doubted that I would even physically survive these challenges, there was purpose in the chaos, and what seemed like destruction was actually the construction of deeper, stronger roots. And the deeper your roots go, the higher you can soar. And what gives me the perspective to acknowledge that is that I’ve seen the first glimpses of flight.

For a couple years now I’ve been attending my friend’s Singing Bowl Sound Baths, which have been miraculous in helping me heal and recover from a devastating narcissistic relationship of the previous year. So when I went to the New Year’s Day sound bath last month, I thought I was as recovered as I was going to get and that everything was back to normal. Psyche!! As I sat there afterwards listening to the discussion that inevitably follows, something shifted. I suddenly became aware of a part of me, a deep part of me, that I had lost track of and forgotten. I don’t even know how to describe or put into words who or what this part of me is, or how integral he is to my True Self and Identity. It was a feeling of waking up to something, in the same way you might drive for an hour then suddenly awaken to where you are as if you were driving in your sleep. It was like I'd been sleeping these past few years, driving hither and yon on automatic with no bearings, when suddenly the clouds parted, revealing my North Star. And in that instant I remembered where I was headed and who I was. In that moment I had purpose and direction. In that moment I was whole.

After the aforementioned narcissistic relationship I had taken a year off from dating to collect myself and focus on my own growth, but it suddenly became clear that it'd actually taken me the last two years just to recover from the spirit shattering damage of that experience. NOW I can begin, or continue, the journey of self exploration that was seemingly interrupted or set aside about three years ago, which was such a strong and deep part of my consciousness for so very long.

This then is my intention for the coming year -- I dedicate myself to my own soul deepening. I dedicate myself to maintaining my ship's bearings toward my truest, deepest, most authentic self. Under the umbrella of this dedication comes a renewed dedication to my cartooning and my writing. I've begun doing a daily doodle, drawing at least once a day, and by publishing this post I'm already doubling the amount of blogging I did last year. This then is the year for more deeply exploring and expressing my Authentic Self.
This then is my Year of Deepening.

Your Feelings Are Your Feelings

Despite an initial burst of excitement for the future, and a healing combination of despatcho, cacao, and medicine wheel ceremonies performed to the backdrop of a crystal bowl and gong sound bath at Mausouleum, I’ve found myself in a bit of a funk for this first week of the year. Though still optimistic with a lot to look forward to, I’ve felt a little lost, and frustrated, and just generally out of sorts as obstacles seemed to continue to rise in my path, and life refused to flow smoothly.

Then yesterday, while I was at my day job and minding my own business, my Upperworld Spirit Teacher decided to make a cameo appearance. I may have mentioned before that my Spirit Teacher’s name is ‘Fred’... as in ‘Rogers’... as in ‘Mister’... So you may be able to hear the voice and tone of the following conversation...

Fred: Do you know who you are when you’re mad?
Me: Who?
Fred: God. ...And do you know who you are when you’re sad?
Me: Who?
Fred: God.

I’m pretty grateful that I was working by myself at the moment because I’m pretty sure I started giggling out loud at that point. That was probably the most “Mister Rogers-ish” thing he’d said since he became my guide over ten years ago. But he wasn’t through. He went the extra step to the most “Mister Rogers-iest” thing he could have possibly done. He started singing.

The melody and chorus, along with the general gist of the song, was clear, but it took me about an hour of working with him (remember - I was simultaneously at my full-time day job attempting to fulfill my duties there) to reconstruct the other lyrics of the song. Those lyrics are as follows, with a video after that of me singing Fred's song:

FEELINGS ARE YOUR FEELINGS

Are you feeling angry 

So you want to scream and shout?

Or are you feeling saddened 

And your lip is in a pout?

Your feelings are your feelings

They’re important that is true

But your feelings are your feelings

And they’re not you.

So no matter what your feeling 

Whether happy, sad, or odd

Whatever you are feeling 

You are God.

So there you go neighbor. Over a decade on the shamanic path and it's still never just the same old thing, with unexpected blessings always surprising me around every corner. Welcome to the neighborhood!