In The Bag

I recently left a relationship and, while I'm still a little raw from the miasma of contradictory emotions accompanying that decision and not ready to delve into that part in public, an amazing synchronicity occurred around it that deserves to be told, and can be told without breaching the complexities underlying the break up itself.

I was talking to one friend recently, and as the conversation moved onto other subjects besides my former relationship, she asked if I'd ever seen this certain Spirit Animal card deck. She had seen it at Half Price Books and had thought of getting it for me. Not only had I heard of it, it was an amazing and beautiful deck I had coveted it for quite some time, actually having earlier in the month asked a friend who sells them at her coffee shop to hold a deck for me next time they come in. "Oh, I wished I'd gone ahead and bought it for you then! And I have the perfect case to put them in. It's a beautiful, hand-embroidered tarot bag that even has a unicorn on it. It so has your name on it!" A thought flickered across my mind which I quickly dismissed. It couldn't be. There's no possible way...

A little later that evening I got a message from her saying she was at Half Price, she was buying me the deck, and there was nothing I could do about it, so there! ...I love my friends!

Then a little later after that she messaged me again, this time with photos of the deck along with the tarot bag she had mentioned. ...Holy crap! There was no possible way, but there it was. I replied my undying gratitude saying that she had just given me a bigger gift than she could ever have imagined, but that I wanted to tell her about it in person.

Fortunately it didn't take long because I was teaching a class the very next night, so she met me at the store before class and handed off her gifts to me. It was surreal seeing and holding the tarot bag again.

"Do you know the woman who made this?" I asked.
She answered with a woman's name I didn't recognize and I hesitated.
"Do you know ____?" I asked.
"Oh, yes I do!"
"She's the one who made the bag."
"Oh! You know, I think you're right. I was thinking it was the other woman but come to think of it, it was her."
"I know. And you know why I know? She was my first girlfriend after my divorce and she made this specifically for me."
"This same exact bag?!"
"This same exact bag. That's why there's a unicorn on it. She made it specifically for me. I gave it back after we broke up because it was a piece of art and I felt weird about keeping it."
"Well I guess it belonged with you after all! Wow! She gave that to me over a decade ago and I couldn't figure out why she'd give me such a beautiful piece of artwork."
I shrugged with a half smile, "Now you know why."

When I had first seen the photo of the bag the day before, my head was spinning by the inconceivable synchronicities involved. At first I was embarrassed, being self conscious from having been teased about the number of relationships I’d had since divorcing my former girlfriend/wife of 18 years about 11 years ago. Was the Universe throwing it in my face to tell me to grow up and hunker down, that here was yet another relationship that didn’t work out, so obviously there was something wrong with me?

Then another thought flashed through my mind: “Full circle.” The ending of the latest relationship and the sudden resurfacing of this relic from my first relationship went beyond coincidence. Things were coming full circle, like a completion of a lesson over a decade long in the learning. To validate this thought, I looked up and in the license number of the car ahead of me was “777.” This is an ‘angel number’ which basically indicates that the angels are watching over you and giving a huge thumbs up. So it seemed I had graduated from something and the Universe was giving me physical, tangible proof of completion.

Still, the mind boggles...

Inconceivable...