True Colors

Thus far this year has been ...well ...interesting -- both personally and globally.  I quipped to a friend just the other day that I think "interesting" has become the new "normal."  With all the crazy things going on in the world, I have found myself questioning how I found myself in such a bizarro reality ( "Bizarro" in the Superman sense of the word -- or Seinfeld sense if you prefer -- of being "weirdly inverted or opposite of expectations").  It has been disorienting, discouraging, and disheartening as I ask myself, "Did I take a wrong turn somewhere? What the heck is going on?!"

Then an interesting thought occurred to me -- What if the world really did end in 2012 as it was predicted to, and we just didn't notice?  This brings up one of my favorite quotes from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy~

"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened."  ~Douglas Adams

 I'm not saying that the Earth blew up and we're all walking around not realizing we are actually dead -- though wouldn't that be interesting?  I'm thinking again of the Shamanic death-and-rebirth cycle so familiar to pretty much anyone on a spiritual path.  The old world literally died, and now we are in the birth pains of a new world.  It's interesting to think of these things happening on a global level, to everybody, rather than just individually as I am used to. 

A number of years ago I heard a woman speaking about the coming Age of Aquarius, which we have just entered, and the one thing she said that has stuck with me since then is, "Birth is messy! Birth is bloody! Birth is painful!" Yep, that about covers it.

Remember also that this is the year of the Snake -- All this stuff that doesn't feel good, the stuff that feels like really old, really backward ways of thinking and being, is coming to the surface as part of a cleansing, flushing out, sloughing off the old skin that doesn't fit us anymore.  It seems dark, and possibly apocalyptic, but it is temporary.

What this line of thinking has brought up for me was a revelation I had after 911.  I had similar feelings of being in a world, and in a country, that seemed so foreign to me -- that I didn't belong in --with all the soaring attitudes of vengeance, revenge, chest-beating us v.s. them patriotism, and a weird sense of  'justice' that had nothing to do with dealing with the original issues. I was driving to work one morning when I asked myself out loud, "What am I doing in a world I don't fit in?"  Almost instantly it struck me. That's exactly why I am here -- because I don't fit in! That is my gift to the world and why I'm here -- to bring a different view to the world. To introduce new ideas and perspectives.  It's kind of like the way I think of all the things you get picked on for in school as a kid, later become your strengths and the things that set you apart -- the gifts you have for the world.

It is times like this, as tempting as it is to curl up, shrink back, and withdraw, that we need do the opposite. It is especially important at times like this that we find and share our voice.  The world needs you.  Seriously it does!  You are not here by accident with your unique set of talents.  And I'm not talking about marching on Washington, but simply living your life.  Change your own little world.  Bring beauty to your own little bubble of reality, and the entire world benefits.  You touch and influence everyone around you, who in turn touches and influences everyone around them, and so on and so on.  All these bubbles intersect and touch others, and if you ever doubt this, simply look at how small a world it has become with the intersecting circles of people on Facebook.  We really are powerful when we focus that power on where we are and what we're doing.

What originally started me on this whole thought stream was the song that shares the title of this post.  I heard it the other night when I was feeling discouraged (which is why the first couple lines really grabbed my attention) and every lyric resonated with me like it never has before -- And I've been finding renewed strength and encouragement through it.  The world needs you, now more than ever, to show your True Colors~~ 

You with the sad eyes

Don't be discouraged

Oh, I realize

It's hard to take courage

In a world full of people

You can lose sight of it all

And the darkness inside you

Can make you feel so small

But I see your true colors

Shining through

I see your true colors

And that's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors

True colors

Are beautiful like a rainbow

Show me a smile then,

Don't be unhappy

Can't remember when

I last saw you laughing

If this world makes you crazy

And you've taken all you can bear

You call me up

Because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors

Shining through

I see your true colors

And that's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors

Your true colors

Are beautiful like a rainbow

© Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Where I Am

Traditionally Winters tend to be a little rough for me.  In some ways this year has followed suit, although I have to admit it has not been as dark and trying as past seasons.  In other ways it has been even more trying.  I've had some core, core stuff coming up for me to deal with, which has had me questioning everything -- what I do, what I believe, who I am.  It sometimes feels like I've lost my way, or am actually going backwards.  At the base of all these questions and resurfacing fears is the feeling of not being where I'm 'suppose to be'.  That I'm falling short somehow and not as far along as I should be. 

And to bring these things smack up into my face, a couple days ago my morning began with a phone conversation  with a friend who voiced her anger at me for exactly that -- Not living up to my potential, not being further on my path, and not doing my spiritual work.  On some level I realized these were her own judgements from her own expectations of who I should be, and had nothing to do with what was really going on with me.  Yet there was still a part of me -- a very young part of me -- that kind of woke up and asked, "What if she's right?"

From a very early age I felt like a stranger in this world, so right away I began, for self-preservation, to try to figure out how this seemingly non-sensical world worked, which mostly consisted of figuring out what was expected of me and how to live up to that.  This developed into the perpetual feeling of not being where I'm suppose to be, physically and otherwise, with undefined expectations hanging over my head that were impossible to live up to.  This is what was/is, I believe, at the heart of my challenges with panic/anxiety and depression.

There is much more to say on the subject, but I'm dangerously close to going off on another tangent or three and losing my intended focus for this particular post.  In short, the questioning and seemingly spinning my wheels this Winter was punctuated by this conversation which threw me into a familiar darkness of purposelessness and powerlessness.

I don't know how many times I started crying that day but I had to keep finding reasons to walk off by myself at work.  I felt totally worn down and exhausted -- unloved and unlovable.  At the same time there was a thread of peace underlying all the other feelings that gave me strength.  Despite the tears and sadness and confusion was the knowingness that this was ok.  That it was happening for a reason.  That it was coming up because it was in the process of flushing out of me.

Finally I decided on my lunch break to journey, hopefully to get some answers and clarity--

Feeling a bit ungrounded I decided it was a good idea to begin from my anchor point in this physical reality rather than just popping in on my guides like I tend to do. So I started at the tree, in the middle of the old Faerieworlds site, which is the shamanic portal for me to the otherworlds. 

I hesitated, listening to my heart as to which way to go, Upperworld or Lowerworld, then a moment later was climbing my tree toward the Upperworld home of my spirit teacher Fred.  The branches stretched skyward, disappearing into a ceiling of clouds, and as I rose through the clouds, I emerged through the floor of Fred's living room.  Instantly, in the journey and where I reclined in my car seat, I began to bawl at the love I felt radiating from this place and this man.  Have I mentioned before that Fred's last name is Rogers?

Fred greeted me and gave me a long hug, allowing my tears to fall on his sweater, then he sat me down.  He told me that I was exactly where I was 'suppose to be', even if that were among feelings of being lost and confused.  He brought up Cormorant, who had entered my life at the beginning of last year as a power animal, saying she was still working with me, using her medicine and diving deeper into the dark and unknown than I have ever been in this lifetime.  That is why on the surface there hasn't seemed to be much change or movement -- why I feel I'm not making much progress -- because the changes and shifts are too deep to be totally recognized yet in my day to day life.  This made a lot of sense as to the reason I've felt the way I have, because enormous amounts of my energy have been working fathoms beneath the surface, leaving the part of me still on the surface feeling the loss of that energy.  That in itself allowed me to relax considerably.  That's why I've felt so out of it, so exhausted, so vulnerable, and so battle worn.

I thanked Fred then said I think I needed a dismemberment -- a process where your guides take you apart and then put you back together stronger than before (I'm really trying to resist the temptation to say, "We can rebuild him! We have the technology!").  Instantly Fred, began karate kicking me, and with every swipe of his foot through me, I burst out in sprays of glitter and faery dust until there was nothing left of me, save for my consciousness just floating there. 

The next thing I knew I was watching this tiny little spider repelling down from the ceiling.  She stopped about 6 inches above my head and began spinning me into a cocoon of it's silvery threads.

At this point the exhaustion that had been dogging me took hold and I fell asleep.  The afternoon passed, then after work, as I was driving to Seattle, I recalled where the journey had 'stopped.'  A little alarmed that I couldn't remember getting out of the cocoon, I mentally connected with Fred to find out what had happened.  "You never did get out. You're still there. It's time for you to rest."

Phew!  There's nothing like getting permission from your guides to rest -- which is ultimately you giving yourself permission.  I have been driven since childhood to assess what was expected of me (which in reality was what I made up from what I believed others expected, since no one ever told me what those parameters were) and then to strive, and to strive, and to strive even harder for some nebulous potential. This process has hardly let up into the present, so no wonder I'm exhausted!

Again, my growing realization is validated -- that fulfillment, enlightenment, wholeness (whatever you want to label it) is gained by surrendering and dropping into what we already are, rather than the general consensus that these things are only gained through effort and strain.  As Jeshua has been saying for the twenty-some years that I've been going to him, there are no accidents so we are always in the right place at the right time. Wherever I am is where I'm 'suppose to' be. "You are where you are, and that is perfect."

So I set my intention to allow myself to rest, to allow myself to grow at my own pace, following my own time line no matter what the calendar or others might say, and to drop back into the wholeness and well-being that are my natural state.  And I follow the advice that Artemis continues to tell me:

"Don't give up. Just surrender."

Shades of Grey

A couple nights ago, after an energetically wild weekend at Faeriecon -- The winter, indoor version of Faerieworlds-- I went to my friend Mona Rowbottom at Creekside Healing for a reiki session to try to calm and center myself.  She's been learning about Essential Oils and intuitively chose two to use in a diffuser during our session, Sweet Marjoram and Neroli, joking that she didn't know why those two in particular but would look them up afterwards.

As usual it was an incredible session, not that I remember much of it as we both think I was out of my body for most of it.  I did comment afterwards to her though, that I had seen some things that were a little stranger than usual.  Right at the beginning, not long after closing my eyes, I saw this band of light stretching out parallel to and above me, and dancing along and inside this band were beautiful, little balls of light.  Somehow I knew that they were angels.  "How cool is that?" I thought as I let out a sigh through a smile.

Then I saw a shape leaning toward me, and as it came into focus, I realized it was an alien, similar to the common image of the 'Greys' from the Roswell crash.  'He' was slightly different from any images I'd seen, though, in that his eyes were HUGE, taking up most of his face, nearly from chin to crown.  Also, where most greys are described as not having much of a nose, if any, he had a very squarish nose that stuck out from between the bottom of his eyes.

'My' alien looked similar to this, though a little less cartoonish perhaps...

 

He looked at me, and blinked (I believe sideways) with eyelids like those translucent ones birds and reptiles have, in a manner that kind of said, "What are you doing here?" I didn't feel alarmed or in danger at all, and picked up nothing but mild surprise and curiosity on his part.

He faded away, as did my consciousness as the session continued, and when I woke up... I mean opened my eyes... afterwards the angels and the alien were the only things I remembered.

Mona and I just kind of shook our heads over these experiences, not knowing what to make of them, then moving on she went to look up the oils she had used in Aromatherapy for the Soul, by Valerie Ann Worwood, in order to see why she might have been drawn to them specifically. 

Sweet Marjoram was perfect as it "calms the senses and allows peacefulness to come into a frantic world. It stills the mind long enough to allow the quiet voice within to communicate with the soul."  That was exactly what I needed! 

Then Mona began reading the entry about Neroli.  "Neroli touches the realms of angels, and anyone who uses it is brushed with the light of angel's wings." ...um ...uh-huh ...sounds familiar...  She continued, "It may be that it resonates with the energy from another light-time in the universe, perhaps taking its light from another sun in the vast cosmos." My eyes widened. "...HOLY CRAP!  Light from another sun?! There's the alien!" I said, thinking to myself that I really ought to stop being surprised by these kind of synchronicities.

We talked about other things as I drank my post reiki glass of water, then, when I was putting on my jacket to go, something else occurred to me.  "I wonder if..." I started, then smiled at Mona.  "Did I ever tell you about my possible half-alien sibling?" "No, but you'd better now," she replied, her eyes twinkling with curiosity.

"I'm not absolutely sure about the exact timing of events but I do know my mom saw a UFO once, and I mean it was close enough that the inside of her car was lit up orange.  I'm not sure that you get that close to a UFO without being abducted.  I also know that at one point she had a miscarriage.  That is a common pattern of alien abductions -- impregnating a woman then taking the fetus before it is born.  So it is possible that I have a sibling out there somewhere, and maybe that was him."

I kind of smiled, not having thought about that for a number of years.  I'm not as much into UFOs as I used to be, but the thought still amused me of the possibility of having an honest-to-goodness, real life space brother.

Holy Crap Holy Man

I mentioned in my last post that I'd gone to the Gaia's Temple Imbolc ritual recently where we did a meditation to discover what it was we wished to dedicate ourselves to in the coming year.  Well, a couple of Sundays ago was the monthly service for Gaia's Temple and during the teaching portion, Rev. Judith Laxer led us in the same meditation from the ritual.  At first I was a little hesitant to really put the effort into it.  I mean I'd already done it and had made my own dedications in the past couple weeks.  Still I was cognizant of the fact that just because it's the same meditation doesn't mean I would get the same results.  So, with renewed curiosity for what I would find this time, I allowed my consciousness to be led through the beautiful imagery of Brigit's temple, and when it came to the point where we see ourselves doing something that is a manifestation of our dedication, I was surprised.

What I saw was myself, kneeling on the Earth, in some sort of ritual (I felt there were others present though I didn't see anyone) holding up an abalone shell, overflowing with smoke from sage and cedar and other yummy scented things, as I prayed/invoked/blessed this circle and its purpose.  The words "Holy Man" materialized in my mind. 

In a way this was connected to my earlier dedications to walk my path, to really focus on my own work and to walk my talk so to begin embodying what it is I believe rather than just giving it lip service. This was slightly different.  Rather than being a dedication to something in the spirit of creating what it is you want to harvest in the future on the opposite side of the Wheel of the Year, this was more of a dropping back into the present and accepting what was already here.

 
It's amazing how two little words can spark such a change in consciousness and perspective of who we are.  I have had a hard time describing what I do to people who ask, and have to admit to occasionally, though it's frowned upon to self-identify this way in shamanic circles, as a shaman.  The more politically correct term is 'shamanic practitioner' because only the community who you help and heal can say you're a shaman.  I still wrestle with this sometimes.  I understand how the claim to be a shaman, when coming from a place of ego, can be to personally claim these powers as one's own, in which case the self-proclaimed shaman is usually abandoned by his spirit guides because they are the real source of power and healing energy.  But when you really understand that to be a shaman is to be 'the hollow bone' through which the spirits work their powerful healing, you aren't really claiming any of these powers as your own.  And when I'm going through the occasional identity crisis, and I think to myself, "I am a Shaman," I do feel it resonate and empower me.  Still, I usually do refer to myself as a 'shamanic practitioner.'

To explain to those who have never heard of shamanism, or who don't know what it is, I compare myself to a Medicine Man.  I don't claim to be one, though I do talk about using my personal medicine or the medicine of various animals, etc.  It is just that more people are familiar with the archetype or image of a medicine man, so it's just a matter of jumping metaphors to what people understand and going from there into details.

But the words 'Holy Man' really struck a cord.  I had never thought of those words to describe me, but I had to admit that they definitely fit.  I counsel people on spiritual matters, whether just using my own intuition, shamanic journeys, or with the assistance of the Medicine Cards that I read.  I do heal, whether through Reiki, again becoming the hollow bone and allowing Universal Energy to flow through me, or performing Soul Retrievals in a shamanic ceremony to return those errant parts of a person's vital energy that have become separated because of some trauma.  And I am an ordained minister in SHES (Spiritual Healers and Earth Stewards) who can legally perform rites of passage (Weddings, etc).  I have mentioned before that the priest who baptized me as a baby into the Catholic Church was convinced I was going to be a priest, and all that I just described above, though not with in the confines of the Church, sounds rather priest-like.  "Holy man" pretty much covers it.

Above all, in those couple of words, and in the vision of myself, the component that seemed the most accentuated was that of being a leader.  This circle I saw myself kneeling in -- I was leading it.  I had organized it, and people had come to share this circle with me.  Then I start to realize how many people already find their way to me for guidance and answers, and how it's all the part of that same process of stepping into my power and accepting my own authority.

And this all fits with my earlier dedications to my path because, at the heart of it is the desire to live a heart-centered life and to act based on what I'm drawn or inspired to do, from the inside,  rather than relying on outside influences as to what I'm "suppose" to do.  Becoming my own authority and trusting myself and my connection with my Creator to guide me, and thereby lead and teach others by inspiration and example to recognize the authority of their own hearts.

...Holy crap, I am a Holy Man...

Let Me Count The Ways

Last Sunday at the weekly Pipe Circle I attend (Native American peace pipe, or "chanupa"), our facilitator assigned us something to do if we wanted to -- Make a list of 100 things you love about yourself.

The timing couldn't have been more perfect.  It was the day after the Celtic holiday of Imbolc, a celebration of Brigit, the Goddess of the forge and of healing.  It is a time of dedication. The night before I had participated in an Imbolc ritual with Gaia's Temple, where it was my honor to invoke and release the Spirits of Center.  It was a beautiful ceremony where we were cleansed of what was holding us back, and then we each lit a tea light, the flame passed around the circle from one person's candle to the next, to represent what we were dedicating ourselves to in the coming year. Once we all held this fire in our hands, we walked up to the altar, and released our prayers by floating our tea lights in the silver bowl of water -- Brigit's well (with actual water from Bride's Well in Ireland) -- while above it the blue flames of Brigit's forge danced in an iron cauldron.  The sight of all these floating tea lights reflecting and glimmering off of the water and the silver bowl that contained them in the semi-darkness of the room was amazing and magickal!

My little light carried the prayers and blessings from a personal rite I had done earlier in the afternoon.  I stood on my balcony facing the greenery behind my apartment, and holding up a necklace bearing (pun intended) a single bear claw, I prayed and dedicated myself once more to my path. I had already, at the beginning of the year, declared this My Year of Self, a time of returning to and moving from my center, putting myself, my needs, and my care first.  To aid me in these ventures, I once again dedicated my self to my Matron goddess, Artemis, virgin goddess of the wild -- hence the claw of the bear, which is her totem. The perfection of this was not lost on me, as the ancient Greek understanding of virginity has nothing to do with sex, but is someone who is whole and complete unto themselves. This is my goal and my North Star that guides me. And as I watched the shimmering floating candles lighting the way down the myriad paths of everyone in the circle that night, I couldn't help but shed a tear. 

So, freshly on my path of self realization and discovery, with a new born sense of excitement for what lies ahead, I embraced this assignment, and the following is my list of 100 things I love about myself:

I LOVE MY...

1. Sense of Humor  2. Compassion  3. Innocence  4. Simplicity  5. Ability to see the bigger picture  6. Sense of Hope  7. Intelligence  8. Intuition  9. Creativity  10. Ability to see Beauty/Wholeness in all things  11. Comics  12. Writing/Storytelling  13. Ability to find connections between seemingly unrelated things  14. Spontaneously breaking into song  15. Ability to listen  16. Ability to hold space for others  17. Active spiritual life  18. Whimsy  19. Overwhelming  goodness of Spirit  20. Tenacity  21.Ability and Willingness to change, adapt, and evolve  22. Looking at the world with a sense of wonder  23. Inner Child/Inner Puppy  24. Always seeking the Truth and Highest Good  25. Gentleness  26. My calming effects on others  27. Ability to laugh easily  28. Je ne sais quoi  29. Love of Nature  30.Love of Animals  31. Connection to the Earth  32. Having Jesus on speed dial  33. Integrity  34. Imagination  35. Ability to make friends  36. Sense of Honor  37. Spirituality  38. Attraction to the Obscure  39. Weirdness  40. Playfulness  41. Steadfast Trust in the rightness of everything  42. Belief that every person is basically good and Divine  43. Hair  44. Resilience and Bounce-Backibility (44-a. Ability to coin new words)  45. Romanticism  46. Natural inclination to Help and Heal  47. Art and Drawings  48. Ability to fall asleep almost anywhere  49. Snow Whiteness (attracting and connecting with animals and children)  50. Walking in Beauty  51. Sparkling, Faerie-dust magick that follows me everywhere  52. Deep Reverence for Life  53. Balance of Masculinity and Femininity  54. Introspection  55. Enduring Courage to keep moving forward  56. Awesomeness  57. Humility  58. Ability to walk with one foot in each world  59. Blend of Eastern and Western influences  60. Eclectic tastes in music  61. Having more women friends than men friends  62. Desire to help Empower people  63. Natural inclination toward Shamanism  64. Multiple talents in various arts and crafts  65. Mystical nature  66. Variety of interests and inspirations  67. Physical body -- it's appearance and sensations  68. Sense of Gratitude  69. Tendency to be awestruck  70. Kindness  71. Goofiness  72. Unique perspective  73. Cuddliness and Snuggliness  74. Hugs  75. Laugh  76. Recognition of the Sacred in all things  77. Growing Confidence in my shamanic and intuitive skills  78. Strength of Conviction  79. Mad punning skills  80. Retention of old jingles and theme songs (see number 14)  81. Resourcefulness  82. Relationships with my 'invisible friends'  83. Optimism  84. Contagious Light-heartedness  85. Path that crosses and incorporates other paths in its own unique flavor and blend  86. Always seeing beneath the surface  87. Ability to Manifest  88. Taoist default setting  89.  Love for, and irrepressible draw to, being in the woods  90. Being an Artist  91. Bedazzlement with the night sky  92. Love of and connection to Grandmother Moon  93. Sensuality and love of human touch  94. Whole-hearted approach to things  95. Love of learning and expanding my knowledge and experience  96. Curiosity  97. Self discovery through Cartooning  98. Application of Mythology and Metaphor to daily life  99. Maturing while maintaining child-like sensibilities  100. Personal Mythology (and just the fact that I have one)

The Robin Hood Thing

In a recent post I mentioned some of my interactions with the famous Arthurian wizard Merlin, mentioning how when I first found out he was working with me as a Spirit Guide (and had worked with me through a number of lifetimes) one of my initial thoughts was, "Oh great!  It's the 'Robin Hood thing' all over again!"  I didn't go into detail about 'the Robin Hood thing' then because I wanted to stick to one tangent at a time, so I figured that now was probably a good time to explain.

It all started about 5 years ago with a simple question for Jeshua at a monthly channeling meeting...

Jeshua: Beloved songbird, how are you in this evening?

Patrick: I’m doing really good (Good) I didn’t come with a big dark private secret question or anything, but I got kind of a…I’ve been doing some research—I don’t know for how many years, but I was just wondering what you had to say about Robin Hood.

Jeshua: (Laughing) Very good question. Well, I’ll tell you. I see Robin Hood right in front of me (Laughter) Strange that you should ask. Strange that you should be interested and do some research. Were you part of the merry band? (I could see that, yes) Yes, I could see that also, because it is true. Were you Robin Hood? (I don’t know if I’d go that far, but…) You can claim it (Are you serious?) Of course I’m serious. When have you known me to joke? (Laughter)

Patrick: All the time. Wow, I wasn’t expecting that.

Jeshua: You were. It was a lifetime that you lived. It is a lifetime that you are somewhat emulating even in this lifetime. There is a kinship, a feeling of familiarity with it and a desire to return unto some of those times in a certain way, however it would fit in to these times.

Patrick: That’s why I want a little cabin in the woods and... (Yes, and to live off in the woods; to ride free) And that’s why I’m so into archery and everything like that (Oh, yes) Okay. Wow. I’ll have to process that for awhile, but thank you! (You will have fun with it)

And with that I was instantly inducted into the ranks of those who claim to be Cleopatra, King Arthur, or take your pick of any other famous historical figure, in a past life. Crap! What was I suppose to do with that?

Now had it been Cleopatra, or even King Arthur, I could have easily discounted it.  I don't  hold the same resonance with either of them and so would just dismiss it as something 'interesting' but not to expend much energy on. But Robin Hood?  Here was way too much resonance to ignore -- Not just the fact that I'd always loved archery (yes, always -- tho I had no idea where that came from), and similar things, but perhaps more significantly, the deep sense of honor and chivalry I held before I even had words for it.  There are many ways I have felt out of place in this century, and the last, and that I feel more comfortable in the Middle Ages than this current one, which is why I've been active in the SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism -- a medieval recreationist group) for so many years.  It truly felt like a home-coming when I discovered such a group existed. 

And I could go on and on about similarities, synchronicities, etc, but my purpose here is not to convince you -- Just to give some background of why it makes sense to me.  And it's not just me. I remember my girlfriend at the time, who was at this particular Jeshua meeting, just nodded, saying that it made so much sense because I had such strong sense of justice.  And that has pretty much been the same reaction I've gotten from the friends with whom I've shared this little secret.  Someone will ask if I have knowledge of or memories from any past lives.  I lower my head sheepishly, and shyly reply, "...yes."  Inevitably they press for more info, so I tell them, and the inevitable response is, "That makes so much sense!"

So what does it all mean or how does it affect me?  Well, at some point in this quantum Universe where we are all one, the whole idea of past lives breaks down because ultimately there is only one of us here, so we have been everyone and everything that has ever existed.  So from that standpoint, everyone was Robin Hood in a past life.

Then, making it a bit less ethereal, time is an illusion, so all our past, present, and future lives, are happening simultaneously with a give and take, back and forth so that whatever you do ripples backward and forward in time, affecting all your various lives. The best book I have ever found to explain this is The Education of Oversoul 7 by Jane Roberts (medium and author of the Seth books).

But to bring it down to it's simplest, I really think of it in terms of resonance, as I've already mentioned.  It's more a matter of who I am at my essence resonates deeply with the Robin Hood mythos.  Am I Robin Hood?  No.  I am Patrick.  I am a 21st Century shamanic cartoonist, with my own lessons and my own path, with enough idiosyncrasies of my own to deal with without bringing someone else's into this lifetime.  I may have connections to, and ripples of influence from, a famous semi-mythical medieval man, but I am not him. 

My favorite way of thinking of it is what one friend told me.  It's not so much that I lived as Robin Hood, but that Robin Hood lives in me. 

Still, there are times when I'm in the woods somewhere when I feel all the errant parts of me fall back into place, and I have to catch my breath from the sheer magnificance of the scene because I recognize the timeless forest from between the worlds overlaying and underlying whatever trees I am standing amongst.  And for a moment I am home in Sherwood.    

Must Be Santa

Yesterday at work as we were listening to Christmas music on the radio (My radio day :)), they announced that there would be a moment of silence to honor those affected by the recent shootings at a Connecticut school.  When that moment came, I stopped where I was, closed my eyes and tuned in to that area to see if there were any additional psycho pomp aid I could offer the children who had been killed.  Often in such traumatic deaths there can be a great sense of disorientation, and spirits sometimes need help in crossing over to the light.  I have been doing this kind of work for around 15 years, and still was surprised by what I experienced.

At first all I saw was brilliant light and there was a sense of deep peace.  Not being guided to do anything else I just bathed in those sensations, adding my own light to what was already there.  Then suddenly something appeared in the sky and soared to the ground.  It was Santa Claus in his sleigh, reindeer and all!  The jolly old elf ushered all the delighted children into his sled, laughing and joking and ho-ho-ho-ing the entire time, and when they had all squiggled in to the now very crowded sled, he snapped the reins with an extra jolly laugh, and soared back into the sky, disappearing into the light. 

I've been working with spirits for years, as I said, to help departed souls finish their journeys, so I know their shape-shifting abilities to become anything that will be helpful and meaningful in order to aid these dear ones.  This was just so completely and sublimely perfect. Who else but Santa would come, this close to Christmas, to take a group of grade school children home?

Overwhelmed, I opened my eyes and felt the emotions rising in me. "No," I thought, "I can hold it."  A moment later I realized, "No I can't!" and literally dashed to the bathroom where I allowed the tears to well up in uncontrolled sobs.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.