Closer Than Things A-Peer

There have been a number of instances recently that have hinted to me that I have passed some sort of initiation, that I have gone through some sort of graduation or something. It's very odd. Perhaps it's just me feeling more in my strength and my power, experiencing a level of confidence that I've never known in this life time. Even in the times of questions and doubts when I still experience a whirlwind of emotional upheaval, there is a surety that I feel inside that wasn't there before. Is that the part of me that returned during my Soul Retrieval a few months back?

One way or another, I have felt different specifically around those who have been mentors and teachers to me, or those who I would, in the past, have categorized as better than me, resulting in a spectrum of feelings ranging from intimidation to out-right hero worship. Not that I wouldn't, suddenly finding myself face to face with the Dalai Lama, collapse gracefully into a boneless, giggling, quivering, puddle of jello, but behind those feelings there is a supportive presence that keeps it all in balance. And so what I have been experiencing lately among those I regard with respect and as mentors is a moving up in the ranks and viewing them, or more correctly feeling I'm being viewed, as a peer.

The most dramatic of these happened last week. It was a double-whammy actually. I had just finished a session with my counselor and was saying my good-byes when she told me, "I don't think you need me anymore, at least not as a counselor. We can still talk and meet, but as friends -- and maybe I'll start coming to you for answers now!" Then with a hug and a grin she said, "You are launched!"

I felt a great sense of empowerment as I drove directly from her place to the weekly Jyorei gathering some friends have. And as I was receiving the energy healing, Jeshua appeared to me. Now I've mentioned how I've been talking with Jeshua for years, but that is usually just as a voice, and feeling his nebulous presence. Rarely, in fact only once before, do I ever recall him revealing more of himself than that. But here he was before my mind's eye, full-bodied, dressed in robes very much like you see in biblical pictures. He knelt down on one knee. "I kneel before you and I kiss your hands," and he kissed the open palm of each hand. Still kneeling, he looked up into my face and said, "Truly you are the son of god." Then he stood and, eye to eye, he told me, "Beloved Brother, you are my equal in every way."

I hesitated to post this (I actually wrote it last week) because I was concerned about offending people ("Jesus said what to you?!") or it coming off as an ego trip, then I remembered that this is Jeshua's basic message to everybody. I am just finally, after almost 20 years of hearing it, at a place where I am ready to receive it. And rather than being an ego trip, the opposite is true. I have had few more humbling experiences than this.