Cut a-CORD-ingly

I've had a number of people asking me about this, so I thought I'd write a blog entry because it may be helpful to others as well.
In shamanism, as well as a number of other spiritual practices, there is something known as "Cord Cutting."  In a nutshell, we have cords of connection with everyone we are in relationship with, whether it's as family, lovers, friends, acquaintances, but usually the closer the relationship the more cords there are connecting us. 

These cords are basically where on-going energy exchanges take place, so ideally these are exchanges of love and light which empower and feed us, but of course not all of them are like that.  In some situations, extreme examples being co-dependency or abusive relationships, these connections can be where energetic tugs-of-war take place as people give up their own and/or try to take someone else's power.

It is an unfortunate situation that results in a lot of 'soul loss' in shamanic terms, and is also referred to as 'soul stealing.' The really unfortunate thing about this is, even if you could take someone else's power,  you couldn't use it or do anything with it.  We are each infinitely powerful beings with our own unique frequency, so anyone else's energy or power put on top of that just weighs you down more and blocks the expression of your own power.  This can result in what have come to be known as 'energy vampires' (those people from whom you feel drained after spending any time with them) as this snowballs in the constant (conscious or unconscious) belief in the inadequacy of one's self and power, and the need for energy from others.

The fortunate thing is that no one can take your power without your permission. No one. And one of the ways to reclaim your power is by cutting the unhealthy cords between you and someone else.  Now this may be a total ending of a relationship, or it could be just good maintenance in a healthy relationship -- cleaning up and discarding any unhealthy cords to make a healthy relationship healthier.

Now the name of this process pretty much describes what is done.  Like I said earlier, there are many versions, rituals, and practices to do this, it being pretty much a universal occurrence, but like the name suggests, it can also be a little... well, violent.  Most methods utilize seeing the cords in your mind and cutting them with a blade of one's choosing.  I do understand how this can be very empowering for someone who has been in an abusive relationship, sometimes for their entire life, but there also are so many instances I've heard of where people cut cords with someone, and within 24 hours that other person contacts the cord cutter because it is a palpable shift of energy.  Now just speaking for myself, if I feel I need to cut cords with someone, the last thing I probably want is to hear from that person right afterwards.  It seems a little counterproductive to have such a back lash, and in my view the backlash is the result of the process being done from fear, or from focusing on getting away from the other person rather than going toward your own future.  Like the saying says, "Energy flows where consciousness goes."  Focusing on where you've been, on getting away from that person, will just draw that energy back into your life, whether it's this same individual or someone else embodying that same kind of energy.  Nothing less than love, and a win-win situation will truly heal the situation, and after all, healing is the goal, right?

So, with that long-winded introduction to cord cutting, I thought I'd share the process as a very good friend shared it with me.  This is tried and true by myself and a number of others I've shared it with, and it moves toward wholeness and the healing of both parties without loose ends.  Besides people, this process can be done with other challenges such as specific fears, or addictions. It may also be repeated as necessary. So, here is my adaption of what my friend taught me:

Picture yourself sitting on the sandy floor of a cave.  As you look around you notice the very walls of the cave are filled with and pulsing with light. The cave entirely encompasses you like a bubble, holding you safe in its golden glow.  There is a small, cozy fire burning just in front of you, in the center of the cave, and there is an empty space on the other side of the flames.  Now, if you are comfortable with it, picture the other person sitting there on the sandy floor with the fire between you.  If this is too uncomfortable, place a symbol or object there to represent the person, perhaps a doll or teddy bear. Remember you are totally safe.  Ask to see the unhealthy cords that exist between you and this person, then take a moment to notice where they connect with you on your own body.  One by one, take each cord, unplug it from your body, and plug it into the wall of the cave.  Once all the cords are removed from your body and plugged into the cave wall, you may feel free to say anything appropriate to this other person, such as "Good-bye," or "Thank you for your lessons," or "I release you to your own path," or whatever.  It is also alright to say nothing at all.  Take a moment or two to bask in the glow of the cave, as well as your newly reclaimed freedom, knowing you are no longer responsible for providing the other person with energy because the light and love of the cave will provide them with everything they need. You are free.  When you feel complete with this process, and recharged and empowered in yourself, you may return to ordinary reality.  Open your eyes upon the new path of freedom that lies ahead of you filled with excitement and hope.

I now release you to your own regularly-scheduled path, already in progress. :)