Shades of Grey

A couple nights ago, after an energetically wild weekend at Faeriecon -- The winter, indoor version of Faerieworlds-- I went to my friend Mona Rowbottom at Creekside Healing for a reiki session to try to calm and center myself.  She's been learning about Essential Oils and intuitively chose two to use in a diffuser during our session, Sweet Marjoram and Neroli, joking that she didn't know why those two in particular but would look them up afterwards.

As usual it was an incredible session, not that I remember much of it as we both think I was out of my body for most of it.  I did comment afterwards to her though, that I had seen some things that were a little stranger than usual.  Right at the beginning, not long after closing my eyes, I saw this band of light stretching out parallel to and above me, and dancing along and inside this band were beautiful, little balls of light.  Somehow I knew that they were angels.  "How cool is that?" I thought as I let out a sigh through a smile.

Then I saw a shape leaning toward me, and as it came into focus, I realized it was an alien, similar to the common image of the 'Greys' from the Roswell crash.  'He' was slightly different from any images I'd seen, though, in that his eyes were HUGE, taking up most of his face, nearly from chin to crown.  Also, where most greys are described as not having much of a nose, if any, he had a very squarish nose that stuck out from between the bottom of his eyes.

'My' alien looked similar to this, though a little less cartoonish perhaps...

 

He looked at me, and blinked (I believe sideways) with eyelids like those translucent ones birds and reptiles have, in a manner that kind of said, "What are you doing here?" I didn't feel alarmed or in danger at all, and picked up nothing but mild surprise and curiosity on his part.

He faded away, as did my consciousness as the session continued, and when I woke up... I mean opened my eyes... afterwards the angels and the alien were the only things I remembered.

Mona and I just kind of shook our heads over these experiences, not knowing what to make of them, then moving on she went to look up the oils she had used in Aromatherapy for the Soul, by Valerie Ann Worwood, in order to see why she might have been drawn to them specifically. 

Sweet Marjoram was perfect as it "calms the senses and allows peacefulness to come into a frantic world. It stills the mind long enough to allow the quiet voice within to communicate with the soul."  That was exactly what I needed! 

Then Mona began reading the entry about Neroli.  "Neroli touches the realms of angels, and anyone who uses it is brushed with the light of angel's wings." ...um ...uh-huh ...sounds familiar...  She continued, "It may be that it resonates with the energy from another light-time in the universe, perhaps taking its light from another sun in the vast cosmos." My eyes widened. "...HOLY CRAP!  Light from another sun?! There's the alien!" I said, thinking to myself that I really ought to stop being surprised by these kind of synchronicities.

We talked about other things as I drank my post reiki glass of water, then, when I was putting on my jacket to go, something else occurred to me.  "I wonder if..." I started, then smiled at Mona.  "Did I ever tell you about my possible half-alien sibling?" "No, but you'd better now," she replied, her eyes twinkling with curiosity.

"I'm not absolutely sure about the exact timing of events but I do know my mom saw a UFO once, and I mean it was close enough that the inside of her car was lit up orange.  I'm not sure that you get that close to a UFO without being abducted.  I also know that at one point she had a miscarriage.  That is a common pattern of alien abductions -- impregnating a woman then taking the fetus before it is born.  So it is possible that I have a sibling out there somewhere, and maybe that was him."

I kind of smiled, not having thought about that for a number of years.  I'm not as much into UFOs as I used to be, but the thought still amused me of the possibility of having an honest-to-goodness, real life space brother.

Holy Crap Holy Man

I mentioned in my last post that I'd gone to the Gaia's Temple Imbolc ritual recently where we did a meditation to discover what it was we wished to dedicate ourselves to in the coming year.  Well, a couple of Sundays ago was the monthly service for Gaia's Temple and during the teaching portion, Rev. Judith Laxer led us in the same meditation from the ritual.  At first I was a little hesitant to really put the effort into it.  I mean I'd already done it and had made my own dedications in the past couple weeks.  Still I was cognizant of the fact that just because it's the same meditation doesn't mean I would get the same results.  So, with renewed curiosity for what I would find this time, I allowed my consciousness to be led through the beautiful imagery of Brigit's temple, and when it came to the point where we see ourselves doing something that is a manifestation of our dedication, I was surprised.

What I saw was myself, kneeling on the Earth, in some sort of ritual (I felt there were others present though I didn't see anyone) holding up an abalone shell, overflowing with smoke from sage and cedar and other yummy scented things, as I prayed/invoked/blessed this circle and its purpose.  The words "Holy Man" materialized in my mind. 

In a way this was connected to my earlier dedications to walk my path, to really focus on my own work and to walk my talk so to begin embodying what it is I believe rather than just giving it lip service. This was slightly different.  Rather than being a dedication to something in the spirit of creating what it is you want to harvest in the future on the opposite side of the Wheel of the Year, this was more of a dropping back into the present and accepting what was already here.

 
It's amazing how two little words can spark such a change in consciousness and perspective of who we are.  I have had a hard time describing what I do to people who ask, and have to admit to occasionally, though it's frowned upon to self-identify this way in shamanic circles, as a shaman.  The more politically correct term is 'shamanic practitioner' because only the community who you help and heal can say you're a shaman.  I still wrestle with this sometimes.  I understand how the claim to be a shaman, when coming from a place of ego, can be to personally claim these powers as one's own, in which case the self-proclaimed shaman is usually abandoned by his spirit guides because they are the real source of power and healing energy.  But when you really understand that to be a shaman is to be 'the hollow bone' through which the spirits work their powerful healing, you aren't really claiming any of these powers as your own.  And when I'm going through the occasional identity crisis, and I think to myself, "I am a Shaman," I do feel it resonate and empower me.  Still, I usually do refer to myself as a 'shamanic practitioner.'

To explain to those who have never heard of shamanism, or who don't know what it is, I compare myself to a Medicine Man.  I don't claim to be one, though I do talk about using my personal medicine or the medicine of various animals, etc.  It is just that more people are familiar with the archetype or image of a medicine man, so it's just a matter of jumping metaphors to what people understand and going from there into details.

But the words 'Holy Man' really struck a cord.  I had never thought of those words to describe me, but I had to admit that they definitely fit.  I counsel people on spiritual matters, whether just using my own intuition, shamanic journeys, or with the assistance of the Medicine Cards that I read.  I do heal, whether through Reiki, again becoming the hollow bone and allowing Universal Energy to flow through me, or performing Soul Retrievals in a shamanic ceremony to return those errant parts of a person's vital energy that have become separated because of some trauma.  And I am an ordained minister in SHES (Spiritual Healers and Earth Stewards) who can legally perform rites of passage (Weddings, etc).  I have mentioned before that the priest who baptized me as a baby into the Catholic Church was convinced I was going to be a priest, and all that I just described above, though not with in the confines of the Church, sounds rather priest-like.  "Holy man" pretty much covers it.

Above all, in those couple of words, and in the vision of myself, the component that seemed the most accentuated was that of being a leader.  This circle I saw myself kneeling in -- I was leading it.  I had organized it, and people had come to share this circle with me.  Then I start to realize how many people already find their way to me for guidance and answers, and how it's all the part of that same process of stepping into my power and accepting my own authority.

And this all fits with my earlier dedications to my path because, at the heart of it is the desire to live a heart-centered life and to act based on what I'm drawn or inspired to do, from the inside,  rather than relying on outside influences as to what I'm "suppose" to do.  Becoming my own authority and trusting myself and my connection with my Creator to guide me, and thereby lead and teach others by inspiration and example to recognize the authority of their own hearts.

...Holy crap, I am a Holy Man...

Let Me Count The Ways

Last Sunday at the weekly Pipe Circle I attend (Native American peace pipe, or "chanupa"), our facilitator assigned us something to do if we wanted to -- Make a list of 100 things you love about yourself.

The timing couldn't have been more perfect.  It was the day after the Celtic holiday of Imbolc, a celebration of Brigit, the Goddess of the forge and of healing.  It is a time of dedication. The night before I had participated in an Imbolc ritual with Gaia's Temple, where it was my honor to invoke and release the Spirits of Center.  It was a beautiful ceremony where we were cleansed of what was holding us back, and then we each lit a tea light, the flame passed around the circle from one person's candle to the next, to represent what we were dedicating ourselves to in the coming year. Once we all held this fire in our hands, we walked up to the altar, and released our prayers by floating our tea lights in the silver bowl of water -- Brigit's well (with actual water from Bride's Well in Ireland) -- while above it the blue flames of Brigit's forge danced in an iron cauldron.  The sight of all these floating tea lights reflecting and glimmering off of the water and the silver bowl that contained them in the semi-darkness of the room was amazing and magickal!

My little light carried the prayers and blessings from a personal rite I had done earlier in the afternoon.  I stood on my balcony facing the greenery behind my apartment, and holding up a necklace bearing (pun intended) a single bear claw, I prayed and dedicated myself once more to my path. I had already, at the beginning of the year, declared this My Year of Self, a time of returning to and moving from my center, putting myself, my needs, and my care first.  To aid me in these ventures, I once again dedicated my self to my Matron goddess, Artemis, virgin goddess of the wild -- hence the claw of the bear, which is her totem. The perfection of this was not lost on me, as the ancient Greek understanding of virginity has nothing to do with sex, but is someone who is whole and complete unto themselves. This is my goal and my North Star that guides me. And as I watched the shimmering floating candles lighting the way down the myriad paths of everyone in the circle that night, I couldn't help but shed a tear. 

So, freshly on my path of self realization and discovery, with a new born sense of excitement for what lies ahead, I embraced this assignment, and the following is my list of 100 things I love about myself:

I LOVE MY...

1. Sense of Humor  2. Compassion  3. Innocence  4. Simplicity  5. Ability to see the bigger picture  6. Sense of Hope  7. Intelligence  8. Intuition  9. Creativity  10. Ability to see Beauty/Wholeness in all things  11. Comics  12. Writing/Storytelling  13. Ability to find connections between seemingly unrelated things  14. Spontaneously breaking into song  15. Ability to listen  16. Ability to hold space for others  17. Active spiritual life  18. Whimsy  19. Overwhelming  goodness of Spirit  20. Tenacity  21.Ability and Willingness to change, adapt, and evolve  22. Looking at the world with a sense of wonder  23. Inner Child/Inner Puppy  24. Always seeking the Truth and Highest Good  25. Gentleness  26. My calming effects on others  27. Ability to laugh easily  28. Je ne sais quoi  29. Love of Nature  30.Love of Animals  31. Connection to the Earth  32. Having Jesus on speed dial  33. Integrity  34. Imagination  35. Ability to make friends  36. Sense of Honor  37. Spirituality  38. Attraction to the Obscure  39. Weirdness  40. Playfulness  41. Steadfast Trust in the rightness of everything  42. Belief that every person is basically good and Divine  43. Hair  44. Resilience and Bounce-Backibility (44-a. Ability to coin new words)  45. Romanticism  46. Natural inclination to Help and Heal  47. Art and Drawings  48. Ability to fall asleep almost anywhere  49. Snow Whiteness (attracting and connecting with animals and children)  50. Walking in Beauty  51. Sparkling, Faerie-dust magick that follows me everywhere  52. Deep Reverence for Life  53. Balance of Masculinity and Femininity  54. Introspection  55. Enduring Courage to keep moving forward  56. Awesomeness  57. Humility  58. Ability to walk with one foot in each world  59. Blend of Eastern and Western influences  60. Eclectic tastes in music  61. Having more women friends than men friends  62. Desire to help Empower people  63. Natural inclination toward Shamanism  64. Multiple talents in various arts and crafts  65. Mystical nature  66. Variety of interests and inspirations  67. Physical body -- it's appearance and sensations  68. Sense of Gratitude  69. Tendency to be awestruck  70. Kindness  71. Goofiness  72. Unique perspective  73. Cuddliness and Snuggliness  74. Hugs  75. Laugh  76. Recognition of the Sacred in all things  77. Growing Confidence in my shamanic and intuitive skills  78. Strength of Conviction  79. Mad punning skills  80. Retention of old jingles and theme songs (see number 14)  81. Resourcefulness  82. Relationships with my 'invisible friends'  83. Optimism  84. Contagious Light-heartedness  85. Path that crosses and incorporates other paths in its own unique flavor and blend  86. Always seeing beneath the surface  87. Ability to Manifest  88. Taoist default setting  89.  Love for, and irrepressible draw to, being in the woods  90. Being an Artist  91. Bedazzlement with the night sky  92. Love of and connection to Grandmother Moon  93. Sensuality and love of human touch  94. Whole-hearted approach to things  95. Love of learning and expanding my knowledge and experience  96. Curiosity  97. Self discovery through Cartooning  98. Application of Mythology and Metaphor to daily life  99. Maturing while maintaining child-like sensibilities  100. Personal Mythology (and just the fact that I have one)

The Robin Hood Thing

In a recent post I mentioned some of my interactions with the famous Arthurian wizard Merlin, mentioning how when I first found out he was working with me as a Spirit Guide (and had worked with me through a number of lifetimes) one of my initial thoughts was, "Oh great!  It's the 'Robin Hood thing' all over again!"  I didn't go into detail about 'the Robin Hood thing' then because I wanted to stick to one tangent at a time, so I figured that now was probably a good time to explain.

It all started about 5 years ago with a simple question for Jeshua at a monthly channeling meeting...

Jeshua: Beloved songbird, how are you in this evening?

Patrick: I’m doing really good (Good) I didn’t come with a big dark private secret question or anything, but I got kind of a…I’ve been doing some research—I don’t know for how many years, but I was just wondering what you had to say about Robin Hood.

Jeshua: (Laughing) Very good question. Well, I’ll tell you. I see Robin Hood right in front of me (Laughter) Strange that you should ask. Strange that you should be interested and do some research. Were you part of the merry band? (I could see that, yes) Yes, I could see that also, because it is true. Were you Robin Hood? (I don’t know if I’d go that far, but…) You can claim it (Are you serious?) Of course I’m serious. When have you known me to joke? (Laughter)

Patrick: All the time. Wow, I wasn’t expecting that.

Jeshua: You were. It was a lifetime that you lived. It is a lifetime that you are somewhat emulating even in this lifetime. There is a kinship, a feeling of familiarity with it and a desire to return unto some of those times in a certain way, however it would fit in to these times.

Patrick: That’s why I want a little cabin in the woods and... (Yes, and to live off in the woods; to ride free) And that’s why I’m so into archery and everything like that (Oh, yes) Okay. Wow. I’ll have to process that for awhile, but thank you! (You will have fun with it)

And with that I was instantly inducted into the ranks of those who claim to be Cleopatra, King Arthur, or take your pick of any other famous historical figure, in a past life. Crap! What was I suppose to do with that?

Now had it been Cleopatra, or even King Arthur, I could have easily discounted it.  I don't  hold the same resonance with either of them and so would just dismiss it as something 'interesting' but not to expend much energy on. But Robin Hood?  Here was way too much resonance to ignore -- Not just the fact that I'd always loved archery (yes, always -- tho I had no idea where that came from), and similar things, but perhaps more significantly, the deep sense of honor and chivalry I held before I even had words for it.  There are many ways I have felt out of place in this century, and the last, and that I feel more comfortable in the Middle Ages than this current one, which is why I've been active in the SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism -- a medieval recreationist group) for so many years.  It truly felt like a home-coming when I discovered such a group existed. 

And I could go on and on about similarities, synchronicities, etc, but my purpose here is not to convince you -- Just to give some background of why it makes sense to me.  And it's not just me. I remember my girlfriend at the time, who was at this particular Jeshua meeting, just nodded, saying that it made so much sense because I had such strong sense of justice.  And that has pretty much been the same reaction I've gotten from the friends with whom I've shared this little secret.  Someone will ask if I have knowledge of or memories from any past lives.  I lower my head sheepishly, and shyly reply, "...yes."  Inevitably they press for more info, so I tell them, and the inevitable response is, "That makes so much sense!"

So what does it all mean or how does it affect me?  Well, at some point in this quantum Universe where we are all one, the whole idea of past lives breaks down because ultimately there is only one of us here, so we have been everyone and everything that has ever existed.  So from that standpoint, everyone was Robin Hood in a past life.

Then, making it a bit less ethereal, time is an illusion, so all our past, present, and future lives, are happening simultaneously with a give and take, back and forth so that whatever you do ripples backward and forward in time, affecting all your various lives. The best book I have ever found to explain this is The Education of Oversoul 7 by Jane Roberts (medium and author of the Seth books).

But to bring it down to it's simplest, I really think of it in terms of resonance, as I've already mentioned.  It's more a matter of who I am at my essence resonates deeply with the Robin Hood mythos.  Am I Robin Hood?  No.  I am Patrick.  I am a 21st Century shamanic cartoonist, with my own lessons and my own path, with enough idiosyncrasies of my own to deal with without bringing someone else's into this lifetime.  I may have connections to, and ripples of influence from, a famous semi-mythical medieval man, but I am not him. 

My favorite way of thinking of it is what one friend told me.  It's not so much that I lived as Robin Hood, but that Robin Hood lives in me. 

Still, there are times when I'm in the woods somewhere when I feel all the errant parts of me fall back into place, and I have to catch my breath from the sheer magnificance of the scene because I recognize the timeless forest from between the worlds overlaying and underlying whatever trees I am standing amongst.  And for a moment I am home in Sherwood.    

Must Be Santa

Yesterday at work as we were listening to Christmas music on the radio (My radio day :)), they announced that there would be a moment of silence to honor those affected by the recent shootings at a Connecticut school.  When that moment came, I stopped where I was, closed my eyes and tuned in to that area to see if there were any additional psycho pomp aid I could offer the children who had been killed.  Often in such traumatic deaths there can be a great sense of disorientation, and spirits sometimes need help in crossing over to the light.  I have been doing this kind of work for around 15 years, and still was surprised by what I experienced.

At first all I saw was brilliant light and there was a sense of deep peace.  Not being guided to do anything else I just bathed in those sensations, adding my own light to what was already there.  Then suddenly something appeared in the sky and soared to the ground.  It was Santa Claus in his sleigh, reindeer and all!  The jolly old elf ushered all the delighted children into his sled, laughing and joking and ho-ho-ho-ing the entire time, and when they had all squiggled in to the now very crowded sled, he snapped the reins with an extra jolly laugh, and soared back into the sky, disappearing into the light. 

I've been working with spirits for years, as I said, to help departed souls finish their journeys, so I know their shape-shifting abilities to become anything that will be helpful and meaningful in order to aid these dear ones.  This was just so completely and sublimely perfect. Who else but Santa would come, this close to Christmas, to take a group of grade school children home?

Overwhelmed, I opened my eyes and felt the emotions rising in me. "No," I thought, "I can hold it."  A moment later I realized, "No I can't!" and literally dashed to the bathroom where I allowed the tears to well up in uncontrolled sobs.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

A Matter of Context

A couple blog posts ago (Hitting the Shower) I was mentioning the many challenges I've been facing these past few months (including a blood clot, abscessed tooth, and various financial weirdness) and what lessons and messages I was gaining from these experiences.  Not long after the occurrences of that post, I went to the monthly channeling session I've mentioned in the past where a friend of mine channels Jeshua (aka Jesus).  I've been going to these sessions for close to 20 years now, and what I've learned from Jeshua has really become my default setting in all things spiritual.  Or, since all things are spiritual, I should maybe just say "all things."  Those teachings can be expressed in the simple phrase, "There is no separation."

And so I asked Jeshua about those challenges and for his help in giving them more of a context on what was really going on.  The following is a transcript of that very enlightening conversation...

*

Jeshua: Beloved brother, how are you in this evening?

Patrick: Still pretty good (Yes, you’re very good. What would you speak of?) It’s been a tricky few months. This month’s probably been the trickiest, but a lot of financial and physical health and different things coming up and a lot of facing your own mortality type thing (Ah, yes) And bang, it was like one thing right after the other. It was like I would get one challenge, and before that one would get resolved, I would get another challenge, and then before that one got resolved…Finally, this past few weeks I had some trouble with a tooth and I had some of the worst pain I think I’ve ever had in this lifetime. It’s just these different challenges, and I was hoping to get your perspective on things, get like a better context for what’s going on and why and where it’s leading.

Jeshua: You have decreed that in this lifetime you want to know completion with physical, with physical challenges such as providing for yourself, the monetary, the dwelling place, the occupation where your heart opened, and yet sometimes the golden coins don’t accompany the open heart. But you have wanted to know how that feels. You’ve also wanted to know all of the humanness so that you can be complete with it. You are approaching that place where, as you have spoken, one comes right on top of another before one is even resolved, and that is because you want to—if you will hear me well—come to the place of surrender. And you have. You have said, “I can’t handle it. I give up.” And truly you cannot handle it of the small self, the small ego, and even of the physical. But you can handle it as you abide in the heart, as you breathe, as you affirm to yourself, “This is all in divine order, whether it looks like it or not. I am coming through this as a completion, and I am going to come out the other side of it,” and you are. So there are times that you get a glimmer of light and you see this light on the horizon and you say, “Okay, I know this too shall pass, and I’ve always been taken care of,” and you have. All of this lifetime, even when it seems like you were tumbling down the hill into muck and mire, you have raised yourself back up again. So you can take good credit from that; in other words, you can take good feeling from that and trust that always the divine Self of you is going to take care of you. Yes, you have decreed that you will know the bumps and trials and tribulations of physicality and of this reality, but you are also coming to a place of being complete with it to the place of surrender, the place of trusting the heart. You are in a very good place, because as I have said to you other times, you are the teacher. Many come to you and they want to know. They have questions and they ask of you and you deal certain ways with them that they can understand. But truly what they understand is how you face all of the problems that the world can present to you. And you are storing up many experiences that you can share with them. The master has experienced everything so that he can be at peace with it and he can then offer this peace to other ones, because “I have been there.”

Patrick: And I’ve already been experiencing that…I have a friend who recently lost her mom, and then on the heels of that she had an abscessed tooth, and she’s like “I don’t think I can handle this, I can’t handle any more,” and I’m like “No, you’re going to be fine. You’re going to come through this, because I just came through it myself.” (Exactly)

Jeshua: Every experience that you draw to yourself is in order for you to use in helping others. There is no experience that doesn’t come with its gift, and even if it feels like it is manure, it truly has a gift in it. And often very soon you will find yourself using it to help others. So when it comes, whatever challenge comes, invite it in, welcome it. Say, “Okay, I didn’t know I was inviting this, but come on in.”

Patrick: I have been able in the middle of some of it to say to myself, “You know, one day I’m going to be really grateful for this.”

Jeshua: Exactly, which doesn’t make any sense to human ego, the separated ego, but it is the truth of your being. So you’re doing very well with it.

Patrick: That’s good to hear. It’s just nice to have the validation. I had a feeling that that’s kind of where…and I’ve been…I mean, even with the shamanism, it’s like the better you get at doing your “job”, you’re just getting better at getting out of the way and trusting and letting go and surrendering (Exactly) so my whole life is kind of pointed in that direction (Yes)

Jeshua: So on the morrow and the day after, go and buy for yourself the gold stars and put a few of them up where you can see them (Okay) and know that they are your gift to yourself (I will) And then when you meet somebody else who is going through the same problems, give them a couple of gold stars (That’s a great idea) It might even be fun.

Patrick: Yeah. Well, when I do soul retrievals and stuff, I have pearls for every soul part I help someone bring back. I give them a pearl to represent that, so it’s kind of the same kind of thing (Good; it is. You are doing well) Thank you so much.

Jeshua: Thank you, because truly—and I say this to all of you—you are my voice. You are my hands. You are my eyes. You are my hugs that I can give to another one. I work through you, all of you. Whenever you feel in the heart, in love with another one, in resonance with another one and you open your mouth and you say encouraging words to them and you allow them to know the truth of their being in whatever way you can do this, truly I speak through you. There is nothing mystical, magical, wonderful, strange about what is termed channeling, because you all do it all the time. When you are in resonance with your own heart being, the love, then you speak from the Christ of yourself. And then you allow me—because there is no separation—to speak to other ones, and I thank you for that (It’s an honor) It is my honor. Thank you.

Ask And It Will Be Opened

I LOVE the Yuletide season!  The season of light and miracles.  I have a recent little miracle of my own to report...

For awhile now I have been sharing an office space with a dear friend as a place to do my shamanic work. Last month I had scheduled a 2 hour Introduction to Shamanic Journey class there one Sunday afternoon.  I arrived early to set up the room for my class.  I slipped off my shoes and, rather than tuck them into my pocket as is my habit, I tossed my keys into one of the shoes.  I sipped on a cup of tea to help me calm down and center as I bustled around setting up the altar, smudging, and drumming in the directions to prepare the space for the class.  Once done with that, the tea did what tea does, and I left to visit the bathroom.

When I came back to the office I discovered the door knob would not turn. "Crap!" I realized I'd forgotten to unlock the door from the inside so that the door had closed and locked behind me, leaving me in my stocking feet in the hallway. This was exactly the reason for my previously mentioned habit of putting the keys in my pocket! 

I was really stuck.  I had no shoes, so I couldn't walk anywhere in the misty rain, and my car keys were inside with the office keys, so I couldn't drive anywhere.  The only thing I had was my phone, which was dangerously low on power (and guess where the charger was).  I called my office mate and got her answering machine, so I left an embarrassed message of what had happened and asking for any advice on what I should do.

I walked through the building at least three times to find myself to be the only one there.  Of course I was.  It was Sunday afternoon.  Looking around I found the phone number of the building manager posted somewhere, so as a last ditch effort I tried calling him, hoping maybe he lived near by and could open it up for me.  The first time I got his answering machine, but after another walk through the building I tried again and reached the manager's wife.  That was when I found out they lived on Vashon Island which was at least one ferry ride away across Puget Sound from Seattle.

I left my info with her anyway because she wasn't sure where he was, possibly in Seattle, but when he did finally call me back, he too was on Vashon.  Okay.  Not gonna come all the way over to rescue me. 

What he did do, though, was give me the phone number of the local locksmith that he uses, who should have a master key to the building, telling me to let them know he had told me to call.  Feeling increasingly embarrassed I called the locksmith to find out, via their answering machine, that if I were to have them come out, it would be an after-hours, emergency charge.  I hung up.  Who was going to pay for that?  I wasn't sure I could afford it, and I didn't want to stick my office mate with the bill, or get her into hot water with the building manager over it. 

What was I going to do?!  I seriously could not go anywhere or do anything.  My phone was almost dead.  Still I kept repeating to myself that, if what I really believe about everything always working out and happening for a reason, then there really was a completely harmonious solution. 

In frustration I stood up from the floor where I'd been sitting, leaning against the door.  I turned around, grabbed the door knob, and saying out loud, "Just please open!" I jiggled the knob and pushed...

...and the door opened.  It was still locked, but it was open. 

I stood there dumb-founded.  It wasn't like I hadn't already tried that.  I picked my jaw up off the floor and floated slowly, like I was dreaming, into the room.  I unlocked the door from the inside and, just as a precaution, retrieved my keys out of my shoe and slid them into my pocket. 

I retreated to the comfy reclining chair in the corner of the office, still shaking my head over the whole affair, and fell asleep under the weight of stress-induced exhaustion.  It had been between an hour and an hour and a half that I'd spent in the hallway, and I was relieved and grateful that no one actually showed up to take the class.

Interestingly, the only person who had actually signed up for the class had emailed me earlier in the day to say she couldn't make it because she couldn't leave her apartment.  She had lost her keys...