"Your path is to be shared...It will be called The Golden Thread Road"
~White Buffalo Calf Woman
****************************************************
PLEASE NOTE: This blog has run its course and is being continued at windbuffalo.blogspot.com. Thank you so much for reading!!

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Shades of Grey

A couple nights ago, after an energetically wild weekend at Faeriecon -- The winter, indoor version of Faerieworlds-- I went to my friend Mona Rowbottom at Creekside Healing for a reiki session to try to calm and center myself.  She's been learning about Essential Oils and intuitively chose two to use in a diffuser during our session, Sweet Marjoram and Neroli, joking that she didn't know why those two in particular but would look them up afterwards.

As usual it was an incredible session, not that I remember much of it as we both think I was out of my body for most of it.  I did comment afterwards to her though, that I had seen some things that were a little stranger than usual.  Right at the beginning, not long after closing my eyes, I saw this band of light stretching out parallel to and above me, and dancing along and inside this band were beautiful, little balls of light.  Somehow I knew that they were angels.  "How cool is that?" I thought as I let out a sigh through a smile.

Then I saw a shape leaning toward me, and as it came into focus, I realized it was an alien, similar to the common image of the 'Greys' from the Roswell crash.  'He' was slightly different from any images I'd seen, though, in that his eyes were HUGE, taking up most of his face, nearly from chin to crown.  Also, where most greys are described as not having much of a nose, if any, he had a very squarish nose that stuck out from between the bottom of his eyes.


'My' alien looked similar to this, though a little less cartoonish perhaps...
 
He looked at me, and blinked (I believe sideways) with eyelids like those translucent ones birds and reptiles have, in a manner that kind of said, "What are you doing here?" I didn't feel alarmed or in danger at all, and picked up nothing but mild surprise and curiosity on his part.

He faded away, as did my consciousness as the session continued, and when I woke up... I mean opened my eyes... afterwards the angels and the alien were the only things I remembered.

Mona and I just kind of shook our heads over these experiences, not knowing what to make of them, then moving on she went to look up the oils she had used in Aromatherapy for the Soul, by Valerie Ann Worwood, in order to see why she might have been drawn to them specifically. 

Sweet Marjoram was perfect as it "calms the senses and allows peacefulness to come into a frantic world. It stills the mind long enough to allow the quiet voice within to communicate with the soul."  That was exactly what I needed! 

Then Mona began reading the entry about Neroli.  "Neroli touches the realms of angels, and anyone who uses it is brushed with the light of angel's wings." ...um ...uh-huh ...sounds familiar...  She continued, "It may be that it resonates with the energy from another light-time in the universe, perhaps taking its light from another sun in the vast cosmos." My eyes widened. "...HOLY CRAP!  Light from another sun?! There's the alien!" I said, thinking to myself that I really ought to stop being surprised by these kind of synchronicities.

We talked about other things as I drank my post reiki glass of water, then, when I was putting on my jacket to go, something else occurred to me.  "I wonder if..." I started, then smiled at Mona.  "Did I ever tell you about my possible half-alien sibling?" "No, but you'd better now," she replied, her eyes twinkling with curiosity.

"I'm not absolutely sure about the exact timing of events but I do know my mom saw a UFO once, and I mean it was close enough that the inside of her car was lit up orange.  I'm not sure that you get that close to a UFO without being abducted.  I also know that at one point she had a miscarriage.  That is a common pattern of alien abductions -- impregnating a woman then taking the fetus before it is born.  So it is possible that I have a sibling out there somewhere, and maybe that was him."

I kind of smiled, not having thought about that for a number of years.  I'm not as much into UFOs as I used to be, but the thought still amused me of the possibility of having an honest-to-goodness, real life space brother.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Holy Crap Holy Man

I mentioned in my last post that I'd gone to the Gaia's Temple Imbolc ritual recently where we did a meditation to discover what it was we wished to dedicate ourselves to in the coming year.  Well, a couple of Sundays ago was the monthly service for Gaia's Temple and during the teaching portion, Rev. Judith Laxer led us in the same meditation from the ritual.  At first I was a little hesitant to really put the effort into it.  I mean I'd already done it and had made my own dedications in the past couple weeks.  Still I was cognizant of the fact that just because it's the same meditation doesn't mean I would get the same results.  So, with renewed curiosity for what I would find this time, I allowed my consciousness to be led through the beautiful imagery of Brigit's temple, and when it came to the point where we see ourselves doing something that is a manifestation of our dedication, I was surprised.

What I saw was myself, kneeling on the Earth, in some sort of ritual (I felt there were others present though I didn't see anyone) holding up an abalone shell, overflowing with smoke from sage and cedar and other yummy scented things, as I prayed/invoked/blessed this circle and its purpose.  The words "Holy Man" materialized in my mind. 

In a way this was connected to my earlier dedications to walk my path, to really focus on my own work and to walk my talk so to begin embodying what it is I believe rather than just giving it lip service. This was slightly different.  Rather than being a dedication to something in the spirit of creating what it is you want to harvest in the future on the opposite side of the Wheel of the Year, this was more of a dropping back into the present and accepting what was already here.

 
It's amazing how two little words can spark such a change in consciousness and perspective of who we are.  I have had a hard time describing what I do to people who ask, and have to admit to occasionally, though it's frowned upon to self-identify this way in shamanic circles, as a shaman.  The more politically correct term is 'shamanic practitioner' because only the community who you help and heal can say you're a shaman.  I still wrestle with this sometimes.  I understand how the claim to be a shaman, when coming from a place of ego, can be to personally claim these powers as one's own, in which case the self-proclaimed shaman is usually abandoned by his spirit guides because they are the real source of power and healing energy.  But when you really understand that to be a shaman is to be 'the hollow bone' through which the spirits work their powerful healing, you aren't really claiming any of these powers as your own.  And when I'm going through the occasional identity crisis, and I think to myself, "I am a Shaman," I do feel it resonate and empower me.  Still, I usually do refer to myself as a 'shamanic practitioner.'

To explain to those who have never heard of shamanism, or who don't know what it is, I compare myself to a Medicine Man.  I don't claim to be one, though I do talk about using my personal medicine or the medicine of various animals, etc.  It is just that more people are familiar with the archetype or image of a medicine man, so it's just a matter of jumping metaphors to what people understand and going from there into details.

But the words 'Holy Man' really struck a cord.  I had never thought of those words to describe me, but I had to admit that they definitely fit.  I counsel people on spiritual matters, whether just using my own intuition, shamanic journeys, or with the assistance of the Medicine Cards that I read.  I do heal, whether through Reiki, again becoming the hollow bone and allowing Universal Energy to flow through me, or performing Soul Retrievals in a shamanic ceremony to return those errant parts of a person's vital energy that have become separated because of some trauma.  And I am an ordained minister in SHES (Spiritual Healers and Earth Stewards) who can legally perform rites of passage (Weddings, etc).  I have mentioned before that the priest who baptized me as a baby into the Catholic Church was convinced I was going to be a priest, and all that I just described above, though not with in the confines of the Church, sounds rather priest-like.  "Holy man" pretty much covers it.

Above all, in those couple of words, and in the vision of myself, the component that seemed the most accentuated was that of being a leader.  This circle I saw myself kneeling in -- I was leading it.  I had organized it, and people had come to share this circle with me.  Then I start to realize how many people already find their way to me for guidance and answers, and how it's all the part of that same process of stepping into my power and accepting my own authority.

And this all fits with my earlier dedications to my path because, at the heart of it is the desire to live a heart-centered life and to act based on what I'm drawn or inspired to do, from the inside,  rather than relying on outside influences as to what I'm "suppose" to do.  Becoming my own authority and trusting myself and my connection with my Creator to guide me, and thereby lead and teach others by inspiration and example to recognize the authority of their own hearts.

...Holy crap, I am a Holy Man...

Friday, February 8, 2013

Let Me Count The Ways

Last Sunday at the weekly Pipe Circle I attend (Native American peace pipe, or "chanupa"), our facilitator assigned us something to do if we wanted to -- Make a list of 100 things you love about yourself.

The timing couldn't have been more perfect.  It was the day after the Celtic holiday of Imbolc, a celebration of Brigit, the Goddess of the forge and of healing.  It is a time of dedication. The night before I had participated in an Imbolc ritual with Gaia's Temple, where it was my honor to invoke and release the Spirits of Center.  It was a beautiful ceremony where we were cleansed of what was holding us back, and then we each lit a tea light, the flame passed around the circle from one person's candle to the next, to represent what we were dedicating ourselves to in the coming year. Once we all held this fire in our hands, we walked up to the altar, and released our prayers by floating our tea lights in the silver bowl of water -- Brigit's well (with actual water from Bride's Well in Ireland) -- while above it the blue flames of Brigit's forge danced in an iron cauldron.  The sight of all these floating tea lights reflecting and glimmering off of the water and the silver bowl that contained them in the semi-darkness of the room was amazing and magickal!

My little light carried the prayers and blessings from a personal rite I had done earlier in the afternoon.  I stood on my balcony facing the greenery behind my apartment, and holding up a necklace bearing (pun intended) a single bear claw, I prayed and dedicated myself once more to my path. I had already, at the beginning of the year, declared this My Year of Self, a time of returning to and moving from my center, putting myself, my needs, and my care first.  To aid me in these ventures, I once again dedicated my self to my Matron goddess, Artemis, virgin goddess of the wild -- hence the claw of the bear, which is her totem. The perfection of this was not lost on me, as the ancient Greek understanding of virginity has nothing to do with sex, but is someone who is whole and complete unto themselves. This is my goal and my North Star that guides me. And as I watched the shimmering floating candles lighting the way down the myriad paths of everyone in the circle that night, I couldn't help but shed a tear. 

So, freshly on my path of self realization and discovery, with a new born sense of excitement for what lies ahead, I embraced this assignment, and the following is my list of 100 things I love about myself:

I LOVE MY...

1. Sense of Humor  2. Compassion  3. Innocence  4. Simplicity  5. Ability to see the bigger picture  6. Sense of Hope  7. Intelligence  8. Intuition  9. Creativity  10. Ability to see Beauty/Wholeness in all things  11. Comics  12. Writing/Storytelling  13. Ability to find connections between seemingly unrelated things  14. Spontaneously breaking into song  15. Ability to listen  16. Ability to hold space for others  17. Active spiritual life  18. Whimsy  19. Overwhelming  goodness of Spirit  20. Tenacity  21.Ability and Willingness to change, adapt, and evolve  22. Looking at the world with a sense of wonder  23. Inner Child/Inner Puppy  24. Always seeking the Truth and Highest Good  25. Gentleness  26. My calming effects on others  27. Ability to laugh easily  28. Je ne sais quoi  29. Love of Nature  30.Love of Animals  31. Connection to the Earth  32. Having Jesus on speed dial  33. Integrity  34. Imagination  35. Ability to make friends  36. Sense of Honor  37. Spirituality  38. Attraction to the Obscure  39. Weirdness  40. Playfulness  41. Steadfast Trust in the rightness of everything  42. Belief that every person is basically good and Divine  43. Hair  44. Resilience and Bounce-Backibility (44-a. Ability to coin new words)  45. Romanticism  46. Natural inclination to Help and Heal  47. Art and Drawings  48. Ability to fall asleep almost anywhere  49. Snow Whiteness (attracting and connecting with animals and children)  50. Walking in Beauty  51. Sparkling, Faerie-dust magick that follows me everywhere  52. Deep Reverence for Life  53. Balance of Masculinity and Femininity  54. Introspection  55. Enduring Courage to keep moving forward  56. Awesomeness  57. Humility  58. Ability to walk with one foot in each world  59. Blend of Eastern and Western influences  60. Eclectic tastes in music  61. Having more women friends than men friends  62. Desire to help Empower people  63. Natural inclination toward Shamanism  64. Multiple talents in various arts and crafts  65. Mystical nature  66. Variety of interests and inspirations  67. Physical body -- it's appearance and sensations  68. Sense of Gratitude  69. Tendency to be awestruck  70. Kindness  71. Goofiness  72. Unique perspective  73. Cuddliness and Snuggliness  74. Hugs  75. Laugh  76. Recognition of the Sacred in all things  77. Growing Confidence in my shamanic and intuitive skills  78. Strength of Conviction  79. Mad punning skills  80. Retention of old jingles and theme songs (see number 14)  81. Resourcefulness  82. Relationships with my 'invisible friends'  83. Optimism  84. Contagious Light-heartedness  85. Path that crosses and incorporates other paths in its own unique flavor and blend  86. Always seeing beneath the surface  87. Ability to Manifest  88. Taoist default setting  89.  Love for, and irrepressible draw to, being in the woods  90. Being an Artist  91. Bedazzlement with the night sky  92. Love of and connection to Grandmother Moon  93. Sensuality and love of human touch  94. Whole-hearted approach to things  95. Love of learning and expanding my knowledge and experience  96. Curiosity  97. Self discovery through Cartooning  98. Application of Mythology and Metaphor to daily life  99. Maturing while maintaining child-like sensibilities  100. Personal Mythology (and just the fact that I have one)