Cliff Notes

I have had a lot going on lately -- in the past months and the past days. It has been kind of a long process, another of those death/rebirth cycles, and I'm almost embarrassed at how whiny my blog has become, when I've written at all, while dealing with these things. Like I told a friend recently, "I don't know why anyone who is reading my blog would want to start on a spiritual path if I'm the example."  She replied that it's good because it's realistic and shows that the spiritual path is work too. Thank you!

Still, things came to a head this past week and I have felt a definite shift, as the clouds start to clear, even amidst new swirling storms of emotions and thoughts.  Through it all, and what keeps me going through the hardest of it, even when I feel like giving up, are a few basic things I truly -- to my deepest core-- believe to be true.

A friend recently started a list, inspired by a mutual friend of ours, which she calls her "Amnesia List."  It is a list of things she tends to forget when she is feeling scattered or fearful.  And the process of learning really is a process of remembering who we are, remembering what is true -- peeling away the layers of the onion, the untruths, rather than piling on new layers of structure and learning.

So I call these my "Cliff Notes."  These are the things I want to remember.  These are my notes to myself for when I'm hanging off the cliff and my doom seems inevitable.  On a side note -- I've mentioned before how Artemis, my Matron Goddess, has talked to me about becoming the 'eye of the storm.' I think that these are the key to that as well...

We/Everything is one, literally.  It is all energy.  There is no separation.  "Whatever it is, it is God."

Everything, including me, is perfect the way it is, right this moment. There are no accidents. There is purpose in everything, and the Universe conspires for my highest good.

I am always in the right place at the right time. I can not take a wrong step or go in the wrong direction.  The Universe always steers me toward Home.

Even in this moment I am whole.  Nothing can threaten who and what I am.

"The Universe is Safe, Friendly, and Abundant."

Love is all there is.

Waking Dreams

I mentioned a week and a half ago (A Pair of Sweats) going to a Dream Retreat for my Shaman Class, and I'd intended on writing a lot about it because it was very powerful and transforming. Then I realized that a lot of it probably wasn't translatable -- a proverbial "You had to be there" scenario.

Then last night I was talking to my friend who is in the program with me, and in the course of sharing things we'd each written at the retreat, it hit me how profound it really was -- I hadn't read it since the retreat, and it hadn't hit me that way at the time. "I think you need to read that every day," she said. "Yeah... I think you're right... wow..."

So to make it easier and more accessible for me to read, and remind me of what took place that weekend, I thought I'd put here what I wrote. I should probably give some context first...

Like I said, this was a shamanic dream retreat. The 2nd day we had spent working on our Life Dreams -- making a list of what we wished for in our lives and constructing affirmations to aid us in getting there. We ended up with two affirmations each -- one for our most outrageous wish and one for our most doable wish. My two affirmations were:

"I am powerfully magickal and I gleefully celebrate the most whimsical manifestations!"

and

"I courageously allow my True Self to shine. My light-heartedness and innocence are contagious."

I actually received a 3rd because, when someone asked, "But which one is your outrageous wish?" and I answered, "The first one. I wished for a Delorean!" my teacher, amidst the laughter, said:

"I have the vehicle of my dreams in every area of my life, that I may be transported to the places, and in the ways, that have deep heart and meaning."

...how cool is that? :)

That night, then, we were going to do some real dream work. My teacher has worked with some beings she called Dream Walkers, and they had agreed to help us that night. Twice in the wee hours, as we slept, they came through, speaking through our teacher's assistants and reading all the affirmations that had been compiled earlier. It felt very 'Star Trek' as they spoke in this voice that was monotone and sing-songy at the same time. When they came in, we were to wake up and write, whatever came into our minds -- messages from the Dream Walkers to each of us individually. This is what I wrote:

Thank you for your presence and your connection... Your bravery and courage is much appreciated... There is much good work to be done and there is much to be done... Blessed one know well that your life has now changed, and as you change, so changes the world. It is only through your own fulfilment that so too the world is expanded, and thus the mind of God. Congratulations. You have... Know well that you and your world are changed and expanded from this point. We can not tell how much you affect the whole... You are loved. You are appreciated. You are beautiful. Listen to us as we weave into your life. Welcome home. Never underestimate your role or your power.

Much good is done through your willingness and your unique expression of the divine. Blessed are you beloved one. You are so deeply loved. Already has the Universe rejoiced in your presence. Thank you. Yes we are here. Yes we are real. And yes we are love. Come dance with us... Your future awaits, individually and collectively. Be at peace and know we hold you in Safety and Truth. You can not possibly realize how much hope you bring to the world around you that cries out for love.

I fell asleep. Later in the morning I woke up, but as I was about to roll over and go back to sleep, I heard something. Here came the Dream Walkers into the room. So, bleary eyed I picked up my pen and wrote:

Know well you are part of the process... We are pleased by your willingness to embrace the unknown and Awaken, Awaken to your self and your place among the universe.

You have a gift dear one. Let it shine, let it heal.

Finally, we'd been told that first thing when we awoke in the morning, to connect once more and write any last messages we might receive from them. I wrote (slightly more legibly):

Well done beloved one. Thank you for your courage and willingness to be vulnerable. You will never be the same... Your place in the mystery is precious and we hold you and celebrate you as sacred and truly it is our joy to dance with you and weave the threads of your dreams into the tapestry of the Great Mystery. Love, Dear one. Always love. There is nothing else. And so we play through the dance of the stars through endless nights and days, Creator rejoices. Blessed are you dear one. You have no idea the walls you've broken down and the trails you have blazed. For yourself, for your collective, and for your world.

Well done dear one.

Well done indeed.

10-4 Good Buddy - That's An Affirmative

At work my 'desk' is basically an old table with some cardboard taped to the top of it. Since really not defacing anything, I started writing affirmations in marker on the cardboard table top, just little reminders as I go through my day as to who I really am and to the bigger picture. As I was looking at it the other day, it suddenly occurred to me how long I've been repeating some of these affirmations, and what a difference they've made in my life. Instead of filling my head with fear or scarcity thoughts, I habitually think certain affirmations, and though they may not have a lot of power in themselves, their repetition, particularly over a number of years, is actually quite staggering. It is more in the manner of how they affect my thought process, rather than the specifics of any particular phrase. And like a lot of natural medicines and healing methods, the results are very subtle, not the huge light show expected or desired by modern society, yet they are extremely powerful.

Anyway, I thought I would list my top 10 affirmations from over the years, just to see the parallels between them and my experience. So in no particular order these are my top affirmations:

10. The Universe is unfolding in perfect harmony.

9. The Universe is safe, friendly, and abundant.

8. I am always in the right place at the right time.

7. Everything comes to me easily and effortlessly.

6. Whatever it is, it is God.

5. There is no separation.

4. I am relaxed and deeply centered with in myself.

3. Nothing anyone says or does can threaten who or what I am.

2. I am whole and complete within my self.

And the one I do use the most by far, to the point of almost being hard-wired into my brain:

1. There is always a completely harmoniuos solution for the highest good of everyone involved.

Of course there is the ever favorite: Be like water.

Not to mention my latest fave: There is no charge for awesomeness.