Omega and Alpha

It was about 12 years ago that I began The Golden Thread Road blog, immediately following a Vision Quest in the course of which White Buffalo Calf Woman made her self known to me and began guiding me in ways that I'm only now beginning to understand. I've been telling people recently that it's like my life is like the Harry Potter series (the movies for me as I bashfully admit to not having read the books). At the so called "beginning" of this shamanic path, shortly after my divorce around 15 years ago, everything was brand new with a seemingly random novelty to them...

...My main Power Animal spirit guide is one of Santa's Reindeer named Nathaniel whose first words to me were "You don't need wings to fly!"

...Journeying to meet my Upper World Spirit Teacher, I ended up in Olympus excitedly awaiting to see which Greek Deity (otherwise why Olympus?) would volunteer to be my guide, when I look over and see Mr. Rogers sitting on a stone bench inviting me over to sit with him. "Call me Fred."

...White Buffalo Calf Woman AND Sitting Bull both appear to me in my Vision Quest and continue guiding me for years, Sitting Bull eventually handing off the reigns to Standing Bear, renowned chief of the Ponca tribe.

Random, right? Not so much. And now I get the inklings of a deeper meaning to my path, named The Golden Thread Road by White Buffalo Calf Woman based on a vision I had in the late 80s before I knew anything about shamanism, as a golden thread has been emerging that ties all these things together into a bigger, more profound picture, than had at first appeared. Just like with Harry Potter, all the elements were there at the beginning, and as the characters grew and evolved a deeper reality and plot was revealed so we realize there was nothing random or accidental about any of it.

And so it is with my Golden Thread Road. Things are coming into focus now that connect and make sense of the seemingly random occurrences and experiences of the past decade and a half, not to mention all the years prior. This bigger vision comes on the threshold and rite of passage for myself, again not by accident, as I step willingly, if a little hesitantly, into a bigger, more profound role than I would have ever mapped out for myself. With this widening of vision and deepening of purpose comes a new name bestowed upon me by my spirit helpers, and fittingly it seems appropriate to bring this Golden Thread Road blog to a close as I open to a new set of experiences and journeys - Journeys of the Wind Buffalo.

When I began The Golden Thread Road, it was at the behest of White Buffalo Calf Woman at that original vision quest when she told me, "Your path is to be shared." That sharing has tapered off over the years and particularly in the last couple years amid the Covid pandemic -- Though one of the most active periods of my spiritual life, there has been little if any sharing here. Granted, with the pandemic came new avenues of sharing as I branched out into live videos, offering weekly readings and ceremonies to support and uplift my community, but my blog lay, for all intents and purposes, fallow. And that is okay. I tend to get down on myself for not continuing with such commitments, but with clearer sight I can see that it's the way it was meant to be. My path over the past couple years needed the darkness and silence of Mother Earth in order to grow the necessary roots to support me in its sharing. And so comes time, even as the earth herself begins to turn toward the vibrancy of Spring, a quickening takes place within me as the buds begin to show their faces, and I begin anew with a new blog - Wind Buffalo Journeys. 

The story of the new name will have to wait. I merely wanted to begin the process, this post being the last post in The Golden Thread Road (Omega) and the first post in Wind Buffalo Journeys (Alpha), one blog melding into the next as the colors of the rainbow blend one into the other, and as Winter gently transforms into Spring. 

I have many stories from the past to share, as well as those from wherever this path of mine will lead, and my deepest hope through their sharing is that they add to the enlightenment and empowerment of your own path as we walk in beauty, hand in hand, arm in arm, toward home. 

Aho.

Coyote Beautiful

I was going to start this with, "It's been an interesting few months," but then I started wondering, "What few months in my life aren't interesting?"  So what is the flavor of this season's dose of interesting?  It has been a season of Firsts. Besides including my first trip to a gay/lesbian bar and my first ever overdraft at the bank (these events being totally unrelated to the other),  I experienced my first ever trip to the emergency room.

Going back a few weeks earlier, I had tweaked my leg, but at the time didn't think much of it, assuming it would just get better.  And it did seem to be improving until a couple weeks later when it began to get more painful and harder to walk or stand on.  I decided it was time to pay my Naturopath a visit.  It seemed by all accounts that I may have torn a ligament in my knee, and we set out accordingly to heal it in the best way possible, and hoping I wouldn't need surgery. 

Back in the summer between 8th Grade and High School, I was diagnosed with Kyphosis, similar to Scoliosis but the curvature of the spine instead of being from side to side is front to back -- in other words I was a bit hump-backed at the top and sway-backed at the bottom of my spine.  And just in time for my debut as an insecure, dorky, high school freshman, I had to begin wearing a back-brace. 

This was not a life-threatening condition, but surgery was a real possibility.  And, still unbelievably to me when I look back in hindsight, here I was a 12 or 13 year old kid and people are constantly telling me how much back surgery hurts.  "I knew this bear of a man, and after his back surgery he cried like a baby!"  ...Not helpful.  But my point, and I do have one, is back then I went from having a back curvature of, I believe, 93 degrees to one of 54 degrees -- no surgery necessary.  It really was a miracle, especially to the Mayo Clinic doctors who were positive at the beginning that I would require some sort of surgery to correct my spine.  So, long story short, I have in the past already experienced miraculous healing and the power of prayer -- and Boy-Howdee did I pray!

So as I nursed my leg, keeping it elevated and iced, and taking some time off of work to stay off of it for awhile, I asked for reiki healing from a number of friends, and continually administered reiki myself.  I watched, a couple times, my DVDs The Secret and Loiuse L Hay's You Can Heal Your Life -- programs (I highly recommend) about how our thoughts and beliefs create the reality we experience, which always helps me refocus and remember what's really real.  And as I continued to pray and reaffirm the healing and wholeness of my leg, it continued to improve.  I knew I wouldn't need surgery. 

By the time I got to the MRI my naturopath wanted me to get, most of the swelling had already disappeared, and I was able to walk and stand longer every day, so I was expecting the results to come back and my doctor to tell me everything looked fine and was almost healed.  That's not what happened.

That same afternoon I received a voice mail from my naturopath's office saying they had already made an appointment for me, which was set only 45 minutes after I got the message, at some other clinic, though at the time I didn't understand what that clinic was for.  Vascular something or other?  At first I resisted, thinking I really shouldn't take anymore time off of work, but then it sank in that this could be serious. I went right over.

At the clinic they did an ultrasound and found a blood-clot in my leg.  Well they didn't tell me at first cuz from the moment I got there I was anxiously babbling about how nervous I was, especially after seeing all the info hanging on the office walls about clots, etc, and how dangerous they could be.  Instead the woman quietly excused herself to call my doctor to let her know what they found, and then my doctor had her put me on the phone so she could tell me personally what was going on.  They put me in a wheelchair (another first) and took me right down to the emergency room.

I was pretty freaked out and began recognizing some feeling and thought patterns left over from my panic attack days.  But despite that, and the 'second shoe' feeling of an axe hanging over my head ready to drop at any moment, at the same time it did not take me over and I was able to maintain somewhat of a perspective.  Among the thoughts like, "What will happen to my kitties if something happens to me?" and, "Crap! My apartment is a mess! What will people think when they come in to clean it up?" were such realizations as, "I'm going to be grateful for this experience some day" and, "At least this means I don't need surgery."

The ironic thing was that I was probably more at risk during the previous few weeks, the time I spent coming to a point of serenity and surrender and trusting in my wholeness and healing, than I was  while being treated in the emergency room, when my anxiety level increased exponentially.  The surrender and trust I'd so recently reached just shattered, and it's taken me a couple more weeks to let go of that buzz of fear and uncertainty. 

What finally helped me release those fears and doubts occurred about a week ago.  This particular Friday night I thought I was going to a drum circle at a local metaphysical store with a couple friends.  It's the same place that holds a weekly Native American pipe ceremony that I attend sometimes, and on the way there I was musing at how healing it would be to get to smoke the pipe. The Chanupa (peace pipe) has become a powerful vehicle for me to reconnect with Goddess, particularly in the guise of my adoptive spirit mother, White Buffalo Calf Woman who originally introduced the pipe to the native peoples.  When I got there I discovered it was actually an Autumn Equinox ceremony, which just happened to include the chanupa. YES!!!

The woman putting on the ceremony explained the Native view on this point of the year, at this point on the medicine wheel, and how we were moving from Summer, which is the domain of Shawnodese (Coyote), into Autumn, which is the domain of Mudjekeewis*(Bear).  I almost started laughing and crying at the same time.  Coyote! Of course! 

The pieces just fell into place.  Everything I'd just experienced -- Everything! -- was the handiwork of Coyote, the eternal trickster, with whom I am well aquainted. The whole facing-death-thing, and the panicky feelings, and the fear for my mortality.  It was all me, the Coyote in me, taking for real a set of thoughts and beliefs that had no truth to them -- picture Wile E Coyote running smack into one of his paintings on a cliff wall.  All the fears and anxieties were illusions, and rather than facing them and recognizing them for what they were, I let them run away with me.  But no matter what happened -- even if a clot found it's way to my brain or lungs, ending this particular incarnation -- everything was okay.  Everything would be okay.  Death is not a failure.  Nothing that happens can threaten who I truly am.  And I can still trust the Universe to unfold in perfect harmony, as well as trusting that I am always in the right place at the right time. 

And now when those thoughts and anxieties begin to raise their heads, I can just thank Coyote for visiting, remind myself these things are not true, and watch Coyote disappear over the edge of the cliff, sign in hand...

*Originally I couldn't quite make out the name she was using for bear, but it flashed me back to high school Spanish class when our teacher told us about watching Parkay commercials in Spanish -- You know, the ones arguing with the tub of margarine: "Parkay!" "Butter!" -- because it sounded like "Mantequilla!"  ..."Par-Kay-ay!"

First Class

I'm part of a newly formed group, Seattle Shamanic Teacher's Collective, whose objective is for one of us to be teaching an Introduction to Shamanic Journey class somewhere in the Seattle area once a month.  Last Saturday was my turn, and my first shamanic teaching gig ever.  Well, there was the talk I did a Summer or two ago when I was working a psychic fair, where all readers had to give a 15-20 minute talk, and I spoke about Animal Spirit Guides and led a guided meditation for people to find an animal guide.  That was a great warm up for this latest experience.  And like that time, as the magick moment approached I found myself more excited than nervous -- at least until the last minute.

Like I mentioned in an earlier post, teaching is one of the careers I day dreamed about doing when I was a kid (and now the only one left I haven't really done yet is acting -- not counting being the Little Drummer Boy in Fourth grade -- though I do have ideas about how to introduce puppets into my classes for children...), so rather than being a huge stretch into unknown territory, it felt more like stepping into a space that was waiting for me -- stepping into another aspect of my own power.  I was born to do this.  And it seemed a natural next step for me. 

A little over two and a half years ago I went on a vision quest, and in the middle of it White Buffalo Calf Woman appeared to me (actually for the 2nd time) and she told me, "Your path is to be shared."  Shortly afterwards I began this blog to follow through with that Divine request and to share my path.  And now comes the opportunity to share my path in a new way.  It just felt perfect.

So as the date approached a niggling voice in the back of my head started whispering in my ear, saying I wasn't prepared enough.  I still needed to study up, make lots of notes to read from, etc, etc, etc.  Though I was still very excited, the nerves started gaining strength and I started wondering if I really was prepared.  Finally, the night before my debut I sat down with an outline given to me from another teacher, intending to write my own outline and notes to make sure I was covered, and to make sure it was worth my student's time.  But as I looked over the outline, all I could picture was myself in front of the class lifelessly reading off the notes -- "Bueller? Bueller?" Talk about wasting my student's time!  They might as well read a book.  No, this was not a high school book report.  This was a subject I was passionate about, a passion I wished to pass on and inspire others with.  My goal was to empower the attendees, not bore them within an inch of their lives.

At a loss for what more to do in order to get ready, I decided to journey to Hortance, the spirit guide who recently introduced himself as my teaching guide (see my post Teacher's Pet) to get his insight.  When I asked my question of him he walked up to me and placed his wing on my heart.  Two and a half years ago,on that same aforementioned vision quest, amidst the chanting of the stone people in the sweat lodge as the first rays of daylight began to warm my shivering form, the spirits whispered my name in my ear, and now my owl invoked that name, saying to me, "Speaks His Heart must speak his heart.  Trust your experience.  Trust your knowledge.  You will know what to say."

For the first time I was also made to realize what a significant step this was.  This simple, seemingly
insignificant two hour class was nothing short of a full-blown initiation, another death/rebirth, a letting go of everything I'd been taught up to this point and stepping into the unknown where things, and I, would never be the same again.

Along with this epiphany came a mini movie and I watched this man (Me?!) walking toward a cliff.  He had this heavy pack on his back.  Though I didn't see anyone else there, a voice asked, "Would you set aside everything you've ever been told, or believed about yourself, if someone told you that by doing so you could fly?"  Without hesitation the man laid down this ever increasingly heavy pack, in which he carried all his misconceptions and misperceptions of himself, and turning, stepped one foot of the cliff and with the other lightly pushed off the ledge, as if casting off a canoe, floating in the air before soaring off into the sky.

I returned to 'Ordinary Reality' and, with a sigh, tucked the outline away.  "Alright, I'll try it your way," I said out loud to Hortance.  Can owls smile?  I'm pretty sure Hortance did.  On one hand this had alleviated some nerves, but, as in all death/rebirth experiences I've had, there comes this anxious moment when you really have to let go of the past -- consciously part with the seeming safety of the way things 'have always been done' --and lay down the heavy pack of accumulated baggage if you are going to be light enough to fly into and embrace a new expansive future.

And as it turned out, of course, I really had nothing to worry about.  My worry had been that I would run out of things to say, but we ended up going a half hour overtime because I got so carried away with talking and telling my experiences and answering questions, that I almost ran out of time to have each person experience their own journey.  And every person did journey and met a guide, taking the first step on their personal shamanic path of empowerment. And what an honor, that the lessons of all my experiences,
enjoyable and not-so-much, find fruition in touching others' lives and lessons!  And how grateful I am to those brave souls who showed their faith, in me and their own guidance, by signing up for this first leap off the cliff with me!  Eternal thanks to my First Class!

Teacher's Pet

So, during my soul retrieval workshop, in a journey to ask what I could do to help integrate the essence and vitality that was returned to me, my guides gave me a list --

• Draw everyday
• Walk in Nature
• Meditate everyday (whether in stillness or in the movement of Tai-chi)
• TEACH

Wha-huh?! Teach?! Really?! Me?!  "Yes," Nathaniel said, half-hiding a smile, "It's about time you began to teach."

Picture my surprise upon arriving home and, in checking the stack of emails that had accumulated over the past week, I opened a message from a friend, and former teacher, asking if I were interested in coming over for an evening class on how to teach Introductory Shamanic Journeys.  "...If you feel inspired," she said.  "How can I spend a week with Sandra Ingerman and not be inspired?" I replied.  In fact I was so inspired that when I received a catalog for the local Park & Recreation Dept, I suddenly got a flash of seeing "Introduction to Shamanic Journeying" in the class listings.

So, one of the first things we did in the aforementioned class was journey to meet whoever is going to be our spirit guide(s) for teaching.  Right away I met an owl by the name of Hortance (later it occurred to me -- Hortance hears a hoo-hoo!).  I ran him by Nathaniel, just to check him out, and then, in a little trick I learned from another teacher to 'test the spirits', I asked him to tell me a joke -- the idea being that if they have any other agenda than your highest good, they will not have the humor to do so --

          Q:  What do you call a person sitting alone on a sidewalk?

          A:  A 'dumpling'!   (Think about it from a bird's point of view... flying over... uh-huh...)

Okay. Definitely one of my crew (Though I wouldn't ever have come up with, let alone have told, a joke like that...).  

I was a bit surprised that Fred didn't pop up, since he's a model teacher for me, so I went to his place.  He told me Hortance was my main teacher guide, but he would definitely be there (then Jeshua and another guide chimed in with a "Me too" each).

So I went back to Hortance to ask how we would work together.  Hortance called it "Creative Inspiration" -- he would supply the energy and inspiration, but the words would be my own.  We would ride a whole spectrum of varieties on the theme, from him talking through me to me expounding on my own experiences, but for the most part it would be his creative inspiration.

Finally I asked what were the gifts/talents I was bringing to the table for my future classes?  Stealth and Humor.  Like an owl who is totally silent in flight so that it's prey doesn't know it's there until the owl's talons are sinking in, my classes will be so busy laughing and enjoying my passion for the subject, they won't realize until afterwards how much they have learned and how much has sunk in.  No wonder my Teacher's Aide is an owl!

It's funny because, as a kid in school, other than being a cartoonist, the two careers I could easily see myself doing were acting and teaching. I used to watch my teachers, particularly the passionate, inspiring ones, and imagine how, and what, I would teach.  And now this new direction seems imminent (which it must be if I already have a designated spirit guide for teaching!) as I begin setting up plans with a few others to teach Shamanic Journeying.  And even before receiving that email, when I was finishing up the Soul Retrieval workshop, I was feeling a strong tug toward taking Sandra Ingerman's Two-Year Teaching Program. It seems like the natural next step, especially as I remember what White Buffalo Calf Woman told me on my vision quest almost two and a half years ago -- that "my path is to be shared."  Sharing is teaching.

Of course when I ask my guides about it, they tell me, "One step at a time."  So I will continue to simply put one foot in front of the other, and see where I end up.

For Those Of You Just Joining Us

It's hard to believe it has been only a year since I began this blog, so much has happened and changed in the course of 2010, and it feels appropriate to me as the year renews itself to look back and remind myself why I started it in the first place.

A little over a year and a half ago I went on a vision quest -- 3 days of sitting alone in the woods, fasting and communing with the spirits to receive a vision of my life and its purpose. This is a sacred ceremony given to the Native peoples by White Buffalo Calf Woman, so a few weeks before the ceremony I meditated and prayed to her in gratitude for allowing me to take part in one of her ceremonies even though I wasn't "one of her people." Without warning, she appeared to me, smiling, and said, "You are one of my people, as much as if I'd given birth to you myself." I believe there was a tear or two involved after that...

Anyway, as I sat in the woods near Darrington, WA, on the second day of my quest, a number of spirits came to visit and talk. Jeshua told me, "You are enlightened. You're not fooling anyone else so stop fooling yourself." He faded away to be replaced by Sitting Bull. "THE Sitting Bull?!" I asked, more excited by his appearance than the fact that I had just been casually conversing with Jesus. "You honor us by taking part in our rituals, and though we may not be your ancestors of blood, we are your ancestors of spirit." That was the cue for the reappearance of White Buffalo Calf Woman who held her open hands out to me, revealing the Medicine Wheel that I was wearing in my hair for this weekend. It is the one pictured at the top of this page, that I made and wrapped in red leather, representing the Red Road -- the way of the Native peoples -- and around that I wove a golden thread, representing my personal path. This has been a very powerful symbol for me since the late 80s when in meditation I saw my life as a golden thread stretching lazily through the skies, without end in front of and behind me. This was my immutable, indestructible, and unique path, dependant on nothing and no one for its existence.

Now as she held out this talisman to me, she told me, "Your path is to be shared. Whether it winds through the Red Road, the Yellow Road, or whatever road it may follow, it will be called The Golden Thread Road. ”

It was during this quest that I realized how much I had learned and experienced over the previous 20-something years on my spiritual path, and how much I had to share. At the same time I realized how far I have to go and how much I still had to learn. A very empowering yet humbling experience!

And there was so much more that happened that weekend, which I intend posting about when it feels right, but for now that is the origin of this blog and why I began it. A blog seemed the best way to share my path, and so I continue to relate here, by divine request, my journey as it unfolds, and I hope by my experiences and insights that perhaps others may benefit as well.


And I am so deeply honored that others find my personal lessons and what I have to write worth their time and attention.

Thank you!

A Pair of Sweats

This past weekend for my Shaman Class we went on a "Dream Retreat." As part of the weekend, Friday night (or actually Saturday morning) they offered an optional sweat lodge. Of course most of the people jumped at the chance and, in fact there were so many of us there that they actually did 3 lodges that night, the last one going in around 3:30 in the morning.

Anyway, for the second time in just over a week I chose not to take part in an opportunity to sweat. Both times were kind of soul-searching moments for me, and though I wrestled with it, doubted myself, and almost went against it, I finally ended up following my guidance to not participate. It was a bit confusing as I wondered why wouldn't it be good for me to do a sweat lodge? I've done them before and they are very healing and very sacred -- so what was the problem, especially since White Buffalo Calf Woman, the one who brought these ceremonies to the people, has become almost a personal guide and adoptive Mother to me?

In both cases I was given this interesting vision where I saw the lodge, and I watched my path unfold nearby, but not through, the lodge. I kept hearing, "It's not your path."

The first one was easy enough to let go of, partially because I was able to fill in as a fire tender and so still take an active part in the ceremony. I also knew this second lodge was coming up and I assumed I'd do that one, especially since it was part of the retreat. I still felt slightly embarrassed at the first one, and timidly asked the woman pouring the lodge (the one who runs the lodge and 'pours' the water on the heated rocks) if it were okay for me to stay outside, as if I needed permission. I'm still learning that following my guidance is enough of a reason not to do something, no matter what others may think -- which may actually be the main reason I was guided not to go into either lodge: To listen to my own guidance over the opinion of others. Spiritual peer-pressure is an interesting thing.

I did get my second chance about a week later, but as excited as I was for the retreat, my heart chakra was very closed -- to the point of being painful. For some reason every time I thought of the lodge, my chest would tighten, and having been raised in this particular society, I assumed it meant that it was something I had to do to overcome my feelings about, and just push through it for my own good. But the closer we got to lodge time, the tighter my chest got, and the more clouded my mind became. Then, on the example of my teacher and some TAs, I just sat quietly and asked my heart 3 times what was right for me. The 3 times eventually became probably 300, but every time I asked, I would see that same vision of my path bypassing the sweat lodge. The thought of going inside made me feel tight and anxious while the thought of abstaining felt light and freeing.

As I finally, tentatively, made the decision to pass on the experience, I began to feel more myself again, as my self-confidence returned along with a clearer head. "Interesting..." I thought. Martha Beck talks about the "shackles on and shackles off" response -- how certain things make you feel free and others are restrictive, and how that really is the basics of listening to your intuition. So I had my answer. Easy enough. Sometimes things are difficult because it means you're going the wrong way and need to change direction, duh!! The tricky part would be to stick by my answer despite what others may think.

I actually had nothing to worry about, and the few people I told about my decision were supportive, even if they didn't understand. Even my dear friend, who is taking this program with me, and who really wanted me to go into lodge with her. Still I was very self-conscious about it and kept my decision mostly to myself, and just curled up deeper into my sleeping bag when the group I would have been in, went into lodge at 3:30am. Fleeting thoughts and doubts flew through my mind on my motivations, my fear being that it was fear holding me back. But then I fell asleep.

The next day my friend came to me and told me I had been in lodge. "Really?" I asked rather surprised. She said yes, and told me how she'd seen and felt my presence there very strongly, like I was helping watch over and hold space for everyone there. I laughed because that had been my intention as I'd fallen asleep, thinking about the circle of women outside who were on their moon-time, and thus being considered to be too powerful to be in lodge, who were acting as the visionaries for the lodges. I actually felt more drawn to, and comfortable, with that role rather than being inside, and had even joked to my friend earlier that maybe I was just on my period.

My friend admitted to me about being disappointed at my physical absence from the lodge, but said that when she inquired to her guides, they told her, "It's not his path." I was dumbstruck for a moment and then threw my arms around my friend, whispering, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Then I told her about my vision, and the exact words I had heard from my guides. Up to that point I had still been a bit unsure of myself, but you can't get much clearer validation than that!

Later I talked to one of the people who were in charge of the lodges and mentioned that I hadn't gone in. The response was interesting, and I recognized it as the one I'd expected all along --The feeling that I'd skipped the lodge out of fear. Now with the solid validity of my experience, it didn't phase me -- "Ah, we'll getcha' sooner or later. Ya can't run forever!"

Here Comes the Sun

What better time than around Winter Solstice, when the Great Goddess once more gives birth to the Sun -- the child of light -- to begin a new blog? For the past few months, in an endeavor to connect better with the Earth and her cycles in a more intimate way, I began another semi-private blog, known only to a few close friends, entitled Embracing Bear, where with increased introspection I metaphorically crawled into the cave, curled up with the Bear Mother, and began to dream my future.



In very poetic, synchronistic ways that I could not have planned, that blog seems to have come full circle, just in time for the birth of my own light. I spent the winter in the womb of the Earth, the dark of the night, and now, as the days begin to lengthen I feel my own energies quickening and ready to burst forth.

This blog also serves another purpose. It is the fulfillment of a task assigned to me, and a responsibility I readily accepted. The following is an excerpt from the introduction to what I thought would be a book:

There I was, in the woods where I'd sat unmoving for at least 24 hours. My sleeping bag was snuggled around my legs, and my cloak hung loosely from my shoulders as, for the second time, White Buffalo Calf Woman appeared before my closed eyes.

The first time had been weeks ago, in preparation for this Vision Quest, when in meditation I'd thanked Her for allowing me to take part in one of Her sacred ceremonies, despite the fact that I was not 'one of Her people'. Suddenly, without fanfare or hesitation, She was standing before me. "You are one of my people, as much as if I'd given birth to you myself."

Now She once more floated into my consciousness, smiling as she held out to me the hand-made medicine wheel that I was currently wearing in my hair. It was wrapped with a strap of red leather to represent and honor the Red Road, the spiritual path of the Native American. Around the red, I had woven a golden thread, a symbol of great significance to me, representing my own spiritual path. "You will share your path with others. Whether it winds through the Red Road, the Yellow Road, or whatever road it may follow, it will be called The Golden Thread Road. ”

The medicine wheel she held out to me is the one pictured at the top of this blog. I did not take the responsibility entrusted to me lightly. One of the things I realized over the course of that same vision quest was how much spiritual experience and knowledge I had accrued during the past 20 some odd years of studying and practising, not to mention my youth spent walking the more mystical side of my religous upbringing. I had a lot to share! Simultaneously I realized how much I didn't know and how much further I had to go. Writing a book seemed the most obvious way to share my path, and so I wrote the above intro. That was all the further I got. I felt like I was shirking my duties, denying a divine command performance, yet, below appearances, everything was unfolding in perfect harmony.

Months rolled by as my confidence increased, having crossed a new threshold. Then around Autumn Equinox, as the wheel turned toward the dark half of the year, inspiration struck and I began my previous blog, delving deep into my personal shadow and the creative force of the Dark Mother. Now, at the next quarter of the wheel, again inspiration strikes and I find myself excitedly beginning a new blog, having traversed the darkness and the gestation of the light. Then it occurs to me that a blog is like a book written in slow motion, only more fluid and alive, more immediate for writer and reader alike.

This then is the sharing of my path. This is my path, but I hope that in its sharing, others may get a clearer view of their own, whether it be the Purple Thread, Plaid Thread, or Paisley Thread Road. My path is my own, but I am not alone. Thank you for allowing your thread to dance with mine!